Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tight Spot

When I was little, my mom dressed me up for the holidays in a Christmas (or Easter) dress, white tights and black Mary Janes. Occasionally, she would try to clip a bow in my baby-fine pixie cut hair.

I didn’t mind the dress so much, it was the tights I hated.

They bagged. And sagged. And the crotch usually lurked around my knees.

This season, tights are in style.

Textured tights! Colored tights! Patterned tights!

They are so cute I want to buy a pair in every style color and texture.

I have been wearing my tights with my boots. So cute! So wintery! So warm!

Yesterday, I wore my boots with pants. Also cute, wintery and warm.  I love my boots.  For one thing, they come to my knees.  Anyone over a size 12 knows how hard it is to find knee boots that actually fit over your calves.  I love my boots.  Plus, they look awesome with tights.

But I wore boots yesterday.  I didn’t wanna wear 'em again today.

So in my mind, I planned my outfit:

Black turtleneck, black skirt, black patterned tights & ropy pearl accessories.

But instead of wearing my boots, I would wear my grey herringbone mary janes.

How chic! How Vogue! How classic!

In my mind, I resembled a Talbots ad.

About 10 am, I realized that my boots had pilled the tights. So they looked fine from my hem to my knee, but the knee down looked as if I had waded through Styrofoam.

About 11 am, the ankles were sagging.

By 3pm, the crotch started creeping towards my knees.

In my mind I just stepped out of Talbots.

In reality, I looked more like “Real People of Walmart.”


My Mind's Eye



Closer to the truth

5 comments:

  1. This makes me really love that I wear scrubs to work. Scrubs. As in glorified pajamas.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG the second picture had me cracking up.
    Hehehe. Thanks for that. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Someone SERIOUSLY needs to fix that crotch issue!! C'mon, ladies! Step it up

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, and funny story? That last comment? I've had that written for TWO HOURS-- I had it open in an open tab and it was stuck on the CAPTCHA screen! See, now isn't life better without those damn robot words? =) =)

    ReplyDelete

I LOVE to read comments. Seriously. I check them every day. Insecure? Maybe.