Sometimes I get a little behind on chores.
Like laundry.
As long
as I have reasonably clean uniforms for the kids, socks & unders for the
hubs and a clean sports bra for me, I'm usually good.
Never occurred to
me that I would run out of panties.
Wait -- I want all the
boys to stop reading right now. The Bitchy Waiter is funny today.
Go read him.
Yes, you too Ed. GO!
OK.
I
have 10000 pairs of underwear. Some are fun & lacy. Some are thongs. Some
coordinate with a specific bra. Most are comfy cotton briefs.
Last
night after my shower, I opened the panty drawer and. . . . . .chirp chirp
chirp.
Nothing. Not a thing. Not a thong. No boyshorts, hipsters,
g-strings or briefs.
In normal circumstances, I would go without. But
it's fright week. I need unders.
I had NOTHING. Just a giant pile of
dirty laundry. I would never wear dirty underwear. Ok, I would. I totally
would. But the laundry was especially dirty with wet towels and everything. So
I couldn't even find any not-too-dirty ones.
I had to borrow from Greg.
And Greg has 2 choices: tighty whiteys or chonies. Chonies weren't gonna do it
for me because they wouldn't hold my . .. um . . products in place. I figured
if Kate Moss could wear T.W.s, I could too. Because Kate & I are soooooo
similar.
I knew boys were different from girls. I had no idea HOW
different.
They have the whole keyhole thing goin' on. Because they
are too lazy to pull their pants down when they pee. Know what else? The leg
holes on T.W.s are tight. I mean -- no elastic. WTF? How can they wear
these? And there is about 8 inches of fabric between the legholes. Their legs
are NOT that far apart. I know they need extra fabric to cover their extra
parts, but I had NO IDEA that there was so much fabric down there. Finally, the
waistband? Definately not designed for girls. Well, maybe for Kate Moss. But
for girls with hips? Nope.
So today, I am catching up on my laundry.
Cotton briefs first.
OH. MY. GOD. I am literally laughing my ass off. (Okay, not literally. If only I could get rid of my ass by laughing.)
ReplyDeleteI would have just gone and bought even more underwear. After all, you have just proven that one can never have too many.
You are a hoot!!
ReplyDeleteOkay, first, LOL. Second, WTF are "chonies". Now I have to google. You know that leads to bad things with me...
ReplyDeleteQuite funny! And yes, what are "chonies"?? I'm hoping this means boxers. Hope you got caught up. Laundry is a nightmare when it gets to that point.
ReplyDelete