One more Halloween post. . .

There has been a lot of talk on the bloggosphere about tween's costumes this year. 

Know why?  Tween slut costumes.  Read this post and this post.  I actually saw some of these for myself at the CATHOLIC School Carnival last week.  Scary! 

I don't have girls.  I don't have to worry about thigh high tights or push-up training bras.  At least not until  my boys hit puberty. . .and then I will worry for a different reason.   You know I wanna get all judgy about the moms of girls who let their daughters dress as Little Ho Peep or Slutty Red Riding Hood.  I wanna. 

Maybe I should just shuddup.

Becasue I have boys.

I worry about:

Weapons.

Bloody, gory, hurty weapons.

I have one kid who will be dressing up like Einstein.  No issues there.  One will be an Oompa Loompa.  How adorable is that going to be?????  One will be a seafaring thief/vandal/rapist/murderer -- I mean Pirate.

Pirate is a good costume, right?  Pirates are cute.   Jack Sparrow (played by my very-second-choice-for-a-husband, Johnny Depp) is downright sexy.  I know that Pirates II & III were really really sucky movies.  Johnny Depp was still dreamylishious.  Even though he looks like he'd smell.  He's still hot.  I'm getting all drooly.  Sorry. 

Why do we think pirates are cute?  Is it because they are from a bygone era?  Will kids in 2210 dress up like doe-eyed versions of Charles Manson? I shudder at the thought.

At any rate, a pirate he wants to be and a pirate he's going to be.  An adorable pirate.  With a sword.  And maybe a gun.

He wants to be a pirate because of the weapons.  I could dress him in a suit & tie and he wouldn't care as long as he got to carry the sword.  He LOVES weapons. And toy stores LOVE to sell weapons to little boys like him.

Here are some of our choices:

Be careful not to get that blood on your sister.

Because kids can't get enough of bloody chainsaws.

This looks less like a weapon and more like an instrument of torture. 

Elegant, yet effective!

My personal favorite.  This one is called "Sacrificial Dagger".  Just in case we run into any virgins. 

All sold at a Toys-R-us near you! 

So, moms of girls?

Tell Little Ho Peep to beware of Pirates. 

Should I laugh, or should I cry?

I have a close friend whose oldest child is a freshman at Texas Tech.  Texas Tech is in Lubbock, and it's pretty far from Corpus Christi. 

That makes moms worry.

It especially makes moms worry when their oldest child is an attractive, vivacious 18 year old girl.

This particular girl, Heather, is the nicest kid you can imagine.  She babysat for us occasionally, and my boys love her.  Heather is the kind of kid that makes you think that having teens might be OK.

It's still hard on her mom.

This is the e-mail I got from Amy (Heather's Mom) today:

So I read on my daughter’s FB post to her friend, “Sorry, but I had to delete your post because my Mama doesn’t know anything about that.”


Ok, I tried to let it go, but I couldn’t…she IS a teenager and that IS her “wild friend” so I texted her, “Ok, you sparked my curiosity, what doesn’t Mama know.”

About 30 minutes pass and no responsive text and then my phone rings……

“Hi, Mama, what’s up”

“That’s what I want to know”

“What do you mean? I didn’t understand your text, what do you want to know?”

“Oh please Heather, I’m talking about your FB post….”

“What?”

“So you’re going to sit there and play innocent…..remember, I was a teenager once and I’m also not naive so I know that you AND your brother do stuff I don’t know about…”

“Mom…..”

“The evidence is there, Heather, don’t deny it…..you get mad because you think I’m “creeping” on your FB but the truth is you don’t call or write me that often so I have to find out through YOUR FRIENDS what’s going on in your life (I’m choking back tears here)…..I always want you and I have to have a close relationship (now I’m crying) and that you could feel like you could tell me anything. So if you’re not going to tell me what you did, let me ask you one thing, ‘are you still a virgin’?” (You know me, the eternal pessimist and Queen of Gloom and Doom)

“Mom! GAH! Yes, I am……listen, can I call you back in 5 minutes”

“Fine!” And I hung up…I figured she was going outside so her friends wouldn’t hear her discussions with me in her dorm.

So I open my front door and Pete sees me crying…..”what’s wrong?”

“Oh, I just had a fight with your daughter….”

AND OUT SHE STEPS FROM BEHIND PETE…..THE POST HAD TO DO WITH HER COMING HOME AND SHE WANTED TO SURPRISE ME…WHAT A LOSER I AM!!!!!!!

On the one hand, this cracks me up.  Heather is the nicest kid!  She's still a college student though.  And, as Amy pointed out to her, we've all been teenagers before.  My heart sort of breaks for Amy, because I know how upset she was.  And I know that I am only a few short years away from having teens of my own.

What do you think?  Laugh or cry?