One of my favorite things to do is scrapbook.
Scrapbooking is more than putting photos in albums. Scrapbooking is a creative process that tells a story with words, photos, and lots & lots of patterned paper, ribbon, rub-on letters and other arts & crafts supplies.
I started scrapping (or cropping, as some call it) when my oldest child was born. I got 5 albums done before his little brother was born 3 years later. The books tell a story of our home, which was filled with wonder and love.
Our home really WAS filled with wonder & love, so why does it make me throw up in my mouth a little when I write that down?
From a purely anthropological standpoint, my volumes and volumes (and volumes) of scrapbooks are an excellent snapshot the daily lives of middle-income, college educated married-with-kids family.
Volumes 1-4 are our life with a toddler. Every fricking day of it. "Here is Joseph in a red shirt." "Here he is in the kitchen!" "Joe in the bathtub!" "Here he is in a green shirt!" I honestly think the Joseph is one of the finest people God put on the planet, but I admit I went a little overbored. (yes, that is a pun).
Volumes 5-9 are our life with 2, then 3 kids. True to stereotype, Joe has more coverage than Luke or Paul. But, because I scrap, I know enough to have individual photos of #2 & #3 sons, instead of just photos of the 3 of them. (At least I think the photos are individual shots of each kid. My kids all kinda look alike.)
There are some pages about my husband & I. Some about other family. I've even done gift albums for other people. But mostly it's the boys. These kids better have good self esteem, because they are obviously adored.
I am glad I do these books. I enjoy them and my family enjoys them. They make great gifts. They evoke great memories.
But how often can I write of my love, gratitude and wonder? Maya Angelou I ain't.
I enjoy looking at others' scrapbooks. I even get scrapbooking magazines (yes, there are scrapbook magazines!). But scrapbookers are . . . boring.
I can't believe I said that.
I have lots of friends who scrapbook. None of them are boring. They are creative, witty and fun.
But how many pages about snowmen are titled "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow. . "? I would hazard a guess that every scrapbooker has at least one.
I am not going to stop scrabooking. I am not going to stop telling my family how much I love them. I am just going to try to be a little less . . . corny.
How's this:
"Son,
I expect a lot from you. I expect you to be a good man -- like your dad. I expect you to stay away from drugs, trashy girls, and Dungeons & Dragons. You don't have to be a Catholic when you grow up, but I do expect you to believe in God. You need to pay your way in life because God knows Dad & I haven't saved up enough for you. Finish College. Get a job before you get married. Get married before you have a baby. Be a good husband. Be a good dad.
And whatever you do, son, marry a girl who appreciates scrapbooking. Or else all this work I've done chronicling your life will wind up in the trash.
Love, Mom."
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
HGTV, I wish I could quit you. . .
I am a reasonably intelligent person. I know TV is. . . well, it's TV. I knew that Seinfeld's New York was more fantasy than fact. I knew the Friends couldn't afford their Manhattan apartment given their career choices. (Barista? Are you kidding me? A Barista can't afford an apartment in Syracuse much less Manhattan). I know that the wives in Something About Jim and King of Queens have better looking husbands in real life.
So WHY do I believe HGTV?
It all started on Designed to Sell when Tanya (or maybe it was Lisa. . .but I think it was Tanya) made a darling little bedside table out of a $10 drink tray. Adorable, chic, and cheap!!!!!!!!
I have been looking for chic yet cheap bedside tables. A few years ago, we got a great deal on a couple of bureaus. They are espresso with nickle accents. (Cheapo laminate, but by the time they look cheap, I'll want something new anyway).
The bureaus were affordable, but the coordinating nightstands just seemed too pricey. Maybe I just have a problem spending a lot of money on something that will never hold more than a lamp, a book, and a box of kleenex.
So when I saw Lisa's (or was it Tanya's?) cute idea, I had to try it.
I found 2 beautiful silver-tone trays to make into nightstands. They coordinate perfectly with the nickle accents on the furniture.
But they don't "pop" against the white wall.
So. . . .I had to paint.
I had to. What is the point of making adorable bedside tables if they don't pop?
And, as long as I am painting the bedroom -- just an accent wall, mind you -- I probably should repaint the bath. And ditch the cheap stainless etagerie I put in there a few years ago. It was cute for about six months, then it rusted like a Chevette on blocks.
My bath has that faux-wainscot look -- sage about 3/4 up the wall, then cream on the top & ceiling. Cute, except I believed Dutch Boy when he promised "One Coat Coverage". So now, a few years later -- we need to repaint.
Maybe "need" is too strong a word.
But, as they say on HGTV, paint is cheap & easy to change.
The paint is cheap. The dropcloth, brushes, rollers, tray, primer and blue tape? Each item is cheap -- except the blue tape. I paid $7 for a roll of tape? I don't spend $7 on Greg's Valentine's gift.
As far as easy to change? It's not too difficult, if you don't look too closely at the finished project. That crisp blue-tape line? Don't know how they do it. Also, I can tell where I "cut in" and where I rolled. And my second coat may have missed a few spots.
Also, the tee shirt & cropped jeans I am wearing are now splattered with tiny blue splatters. I didn't like that look in the '80's -- I sure don't need to wear it now.
I haven't put the nightstands up. But it will have to wait until after Design on A Dime.
So WHY do I believe HGTV?
It all started on Designed to Sell when Tanya (or maybe it was Lisa. . .but I think it was Tanya) made a darling little bedside table out of a $10 drink tray. Adorable, chic, and cheap!!!!!!!!
I have been looking for chic yet cheap bedside tables. A few years ago, we got a great deal on a couple of bureaus. They are espresso with nickle accents. (Cheapo laminate, but by the time they look cheap, I'll want something new anyway).
The bureaus were affordable, but the coordinating nightstands just seemed too pricey. Maybe I just have a problem spending a lot of money on something that will never hold more than a lamp, a book, and a box of kleenex.
So when I saw Lisa's (or was it Tanya's?) cute idea, I had to try it.
I found 2 beautiful silver-tone trays to make into nightstands. They coordinate perfectly with the nickle accents on the furniture.
But they don't "pop" against the white wall.
So. . . .I had to paint.
I had to. What is the point of making adorable bedside tables if they don't pop?
And, as long as I am painting the bedroom -- just an accent wall, mind you -- I probably should repaint the bath. And ditch the cheap stainless etagerie I put in there a few years ago. It was cute for about six months, then it rusted like a Chevette on blocks.
My bath has that faux-wainscot look -- sage about 3/4 up the wall, then cream on the top & ceiling. Cute, except I believed Dutch Boy when he promised "One Coat Coverage". So now, a few years later -- we need to repaint.
Maybe "need" is too strong a word.
But, as they say on HGTV, paint is cheap & easy to change.
The paint is cheap. The dropcloth, brushes, rollers, tray, primer and blue tape? Each item is cheap -- except the blue tape. I paid $7 for a roll of tape? I don't spend $7 on Greg's Valentine's gift.
As far as easy to change? It's not too difficult, if you don't look too closely at the finished project. That crisp blue-tape line? Don't know how they do it. Also, I can tell where I "cut in" and where I rolled. And my second coat may have missed a few spots.
Also, the tee shirt & cropped jeans I am wearing are now splattered with tiny blue splatters. I didn't like that look in the '80's -- I sure don't need to wear it now.
I haven't put the nightstands up. But it will have to wait until after Design on A Dime.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Madison Avenue, here I come. . .
Ok -- I have an idea, and I need to know what you think.
Sometimes I like to think of new applications for existing products. For example: Depends. Yes, Depends. The adult diapers.
For a long time, I’ve thought that if Depends had a product geared towards professionals, they would make a killing. They could call it Depends Office. Here’s how I envision the commercial:
Scene - a hectic office, people hurrying around looking harried. Zoom in on boss surrounded by panicked lackeys.
BOSS: “We must get that report to the board TODAY or the whole project could be delayed”
LACKEY 1: “Sir, it’s impossible, we just found out about it yesterday!”
LACKEY 2: “Maybe if you called them you could buy us some time!”
Enter a calm collected professionally dressed woman carrying a folder.
WOMAN: “Here’s the report. I had it formulated on this thumb drive for you as well.”
Boss and lackeys look at woman dumbfounded
BOSS: “How did you get it done so quickly?”
WOMAN: “I just worked all night”
Woman turns to the camera and says in a whisper “With a little help from Depends Office! Thanks Depends!”
And SCENE!
Great idea, right? But that’s not the one I wanted to tell you about.
I got the idea for my NEW application when I was doing my workouts this week. This week my workouts were all plenty intense, because I was STUPID enough to post on here that I was getting used to them & they are easier. There was NOTHING easy about my workouts this week. NOTHING!
This week I worked out with Ricky helping me. Ricky is a nice young man who works for Vic. He looks like a fitter version of Leonardo DiCaprio. I think he’s somewhere between 19-23 years old, and he treats me with the same courtesy he would use towards his mother’s old high school chums. (Except he probably never hands one of his Mom's friends a 6 lb ball and tells her to squat. One Hundred and FIFTY times.)
As I am working out next to this handsome, polite young man, I look in the mirror (which are all over that place -- I’m hoping they are there so we can ensure our form is correct. Because otherwise? This place needs an HGTV intervention). (I'm going to pay for that crack next week, You watch!)
In the mirror I can’t help but notice that the more I do my exercises, the more soaking wet with sweat I become. About half way through it looks like someone has poured water down my shirt and I seem to have wet my pants.
The damp t-shirt I can live with, but the peed pants? Next to Ricky DiCaprio? If I wasn’t already so red from all the physical exertion, I would have blushed.
So THAT’S when I came up with my great marketing idea!
Depends Active!
Here’s the ad:
Scene: A busy, tastefully decorated fitness studio with lots of red faced sweaty people.
Camera zooms to two women working out. Both are obviously working hard, but one looks more refreshed than the other.
LINDA: “Leonardo sure has us on a tough circuit today, Amy!”
AMY: “I know, Linda! We will be ready for that marathon in no time!”
LINDA: “I know you will be! I’m just ready for a shower!”
AMY: “ No time for that today, Linda. I have to pick up the kids, then run Don’s clothes to the cleaners, then head to the grocery store before I can even THINK of a nice hot shower!”
LINDA: “You’re lucky -- you still look so fresh!”
AMY: “It’s not me, Linda. It’s Depends Active!”
LINDA: “Depends Active?”
Scene: locker room, where Linda & Amy have towels around their necks.
AMY: “Linda, just put on a pair of Depends Active before your next workout, and you’ll be ready to pick the kids up from soccer practice and then stop at the market before you go home. I never workout without Depends Active!”
Scene: back at the fitness studio. Linda & Amy are wearing different workout outfits.
LINDA: “Amy! Thanks for the tip about Depends Active! After my workout today, I am heading straight to the OB/GYN for my annual!”
AMY & LINDA together: “Thanks Depends Active!”
And SCENE!
Great idea, right? Right? Guys? Anyone?
Sometimes I like to think of new applications for existing products. For example: Depends. Yes, Depends. The adult diapers.
For a long time, I’ve thought that if Depends had a product geared towards professionals, they would make a killing. They could call it Depends Office. Here’s how I envision the commercial:
Scene - a hectic office, people hurrying around looking harried. Zoom in on boss surrounded by panicked lackeys.
BOSS: “We must get that report to the board TODAY or the whole project could be delayed”
LACKEY 1: “Sir, it’s impossible, we just found out about it yesterday!”
LACKEY 2: “Maybe if you called them you could buy us some time!”
Enter a calm collected professionally dressed woman carrying a folder.
WOMAN: “Here’s the report. I had it formulated on this thumb drive for you as well.”
Boss and lackeys look at woman dumbfounded
BOSS: “How did you get it done so quickly?”
WOMAN: “I just worked all night”
Woman turns to the camera and says in a whisper “With a little help from Depends Office! Thanks Depends!”
And SCENE!
Great idea, right? But that’s not the one I wanted to tell you about.
I got the idea for my NEW application when I was doing my workouts this week. This week my workouts were all plenty intense, because I was STUPID enough to post on here that I was getting used to them & they are easier. There was NOTHING easy about my workouts this week. NOTHING!
This week I worked out with Ricky helping me. Ricky is a nice young man who works for Vic. He looks like a fitter version of Leonardo DiCaprio. I think he’s somewhere between 19-23 years old, and he treats me with the same courtesy he would use towards his mother’s old high school chums. (Except he probably never hands one of his Mom's friends a 6 lb ball and tells her to squat. One Hundred and FIFTY times.)
As I am working out next to this handsome, polite young man, I look in the mirror (which are all over that place -- I’m hoping they are there so we can ensure our form is correct. Because otherwise? This place needs an HGTV intervention). (I'm going to pay for that crack next week, You watch!)
In the mirror I can’t help but notice that the more I do my exercises, the more soaking wet with sweat I become. About half way through it looks like someone has poured water down my shirt and I seem to have wet my pants.
The damp t-shirt I can live with, but the peed pants? Next to Ricky DiCaprio? If I wasn’t already so red from all the physical exertion, I would have blushed.
So THAT’S when I came up with my great marketing idea!
Depends Active!
Here’s the ad:
Scene: A busy, tastefully decorated fitness studio with lots of red faced sweaty people.
Camera zooms to two women working out. Both are obviously working hard, but one looks more refreshed than the other.
LINDA: “Leonardo sure has us on a tough circuit today, Amy!”
AMY: “I know, Linda! We will be ready for that marathon in no time!”
LINDA: “I know you will be! I’m just ready for a shower!”
AMY: “ No time for that today, Linda. I have to pick up the kids, then run Don’s clothes to the cleaners, then head to the grocery store before I can even THINK of a nice hot shower!”
LINDA: “You’re lucky -- you still look so fresh!”
AMY: “It’s not me, Linda. It’s Depends Active!”
LINDA: “Depends Active?”
Scene: locker room, where Linda & Amy have towels around their necks.
AMY: “Linda, just put on a pair of Depends Active before your next workout, and you’ll be ready to pick the kids up from soccer practice and then stop at the market before you go home. I never workout without Depends Active!”
Scene: back at the fitness studio. Linda & Amy are wearing different workout outfits.
LINDA: “Amy! Thanks for the tip about Depends Active! After my workout today, I am heading straight to the OB/GYN for my annual!”
AMY & LINDA together: “Thanks Depends Active!”
And SCENE!
Great idea, right? Right? Guys? Anyone?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Granny
When I was a kid, grandmas were sweet, little old ladies.
I am blessed to have known both of my grandmothers. Grandma A, who weighed about 75lbs soaking wet, was the most wonderful, affirming, lovely lady I have ever known. her house always smelled of fresh coffee, Dove soap and bran flakes. There was always a rosary and a prayer book on her bedside table, and in the evenings she could be found enjoying a martini and a few cheese nip crackers.
Grandma C was more robust. She would clean our kitchen while complaining about what slobs we were. She drank beer from a can & used to threaten to beat my cousins with "a board with a nail in it". When we were sick, she'd make us drink 7-up and hot toddies with honey, lemon & whisky. She watched Family Feud every day, but would never admit it. Her house always smelled of Dove soap, Youth Dew cologne and laundry soap.
Both grandmas had beautiful white hair, "done" each week & held in place by a hairnet made of fibers finer than cobwebs. They each had bright blue eyes and wore lipstick and face powder. They lunched with friends every week, and they had handbags to match all of their shoes.
They bragged about their grand kids, although they would never admit it.
They were grandmas.
My own mother and mother-in-law are more modern than my own grandmas -- mom's house smells like Benson & Hedges, coffee and pot pourri. Toshi's house has a more Asian smell - moth balls, seaweed and talcum powder. Both Mom & Toshi have pretty white hair, but they don't bother with hairnets. They each wear stylish casual clothes. Mom gets online and writes freelance articles. Toshi does freelance bookkeeping. Both volunteer at their churches 30+ hours per week. Both brag about their grand kids -- and make fun of themselves for doing so.
They are grandmas.
I want to be like them someday.
Someday, as in 2036. Not today.
I am 44. I had my children a little later in life: my first child was born when I was 35, my last when I was 42. I don't look like a grandma (I don't think). My hair is not a pretty white color, it's a fabulous, expensive red. I don't have many wrinkles despite years of sun damage. (A gift of fat? nice, smooth skin) I never use Dove soap.
So when I take my littles to the grocery store, and the checkout girl tells me my grand kids are cute, I get a little. . . .I dunno.
When it's my husband -- who has salty salt & pepper hair -- I get it. He has WHITE hair for chrissakes. It's an honest mistake. But me????
I have friends who are grandmas that don't come close to the little-old-lady model that I grew up with. One of my friends still gets hit on. She's in her 50's, but she looks like she's 40. Another of my friends had her son young, and now, at 42, she is a grandma. Grandma Diva, she calls herself. She's beautiful. I bet when she takes her grandson to the grocery store, the checkout girl tells her her baby is cute.
So maybe it's not so bad to be confused for grandma.
Then why does it make me feel like I should be buying hairnets?
I am blessed to have known both of my grandmothers. Grandma A, who weighed about 75lbs soaking wet, was the most wonderful, affirming, lovely lady I have ever known. her house always smelled of fresh coffee, Dove soap and bran flakes. There was always a rosary and a prayer book on her bedside table, and in the evenings she could be found enjoying a martini and a few cheese nip crackers.
Grandma C was more robust. She would clean our kitchen while complaining about what slobs we were. She drank beer from a can & used to threaten to beat my cousins with "a board with a nail in it". When we were sick, she'd make us drink 7-up and hot toddies with honey, lemon & whisky. She watched Family Feud every day, but would never admit it. Her house always smelled of Dove soap, Youth Dew cologne and laundry soap.
Both grandmas had beautiful white hair, "done" each week & held in place by a hairnet made of fibers finer than cobwebs. They each had bright blue eyes and wore lipstick and face powder. They lunched with friends every week, and they had handbags to match all of their shoes.
They bragged about their grand kids, although they would never admit it.
They were grandmas.
My own mother and mother-in-law are more modern than my own grandmas -- mom's house smells like Benson & Hedges, coffee and pot pourri. Toshi's house has a more Asian smell - moth balls, seaweed and talcum powder. Both Mom & Toshi have pretty white hair, but they don't bother with hairnets. They each wear stylish casual clothes. Mom gets online and writes freelance articles. Toshi does freelance bookkeeping. Both volunteer at their churches 30+ hours per week. Both brag about their grand kids -- and make fun of themselves for doing so.
They are grandmas.
I want to be like them someday.
Someday, as in 2036. Not today.
I am 44. I had my children a little later in life: my first child was born when I was 35, my last when I was 42. I don't look like a grandma (I don't think). My hair is not a pretty white color, it's a fabulous, expensive red. I don't have many wrinkles despite years of sun damage. (A gift of fat? nice, smooth skin) I never use Dove soap.
So when I take my littles to the grocery store, and the checkout girl tells me my grand kids are cute, I get a little. . . .I dunno.
When it's my husband -- who has salty salt & pepper hair -- I get it. He has WHITE hair for chrissakes. It's an honest mistake. But me????
I have friends who are grandmas that don't come close to the little-old-lady model that I grew up with. One of my friends still gets hit on. She's in her 50's, but she looks like she's 40. Another of my friends had her son young, and now, at 42, she is a grandma. Grandma Diva, she calls herself. She's beautiful. I bet when she takes her grandson to the grocery store, the checkout girl tells her her baby is cute.
So maybe it's not so bad to be confused for grandma.
Then why does it make me feel like I should be buying hairnets?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Progress so far. . .
It's been a week & a half since I started the Bootcamp.
Don't tell Vic, but it gets a little easier every day.
My weight hasn't changed yet. I have always said that it's not about the weight, it's about the fitness. And I believe that. I really do. Truly. (It would be nice to be down a couple of lbs tho.)
The biggest impact so far?
My boobs are shrinking.
Sigh.
Don't tell Vic, but it gets a little easier every day.
My weight hasn't changed yet. I have always said that it's not about the weight, it's about the fitness. And I believe that. I really do. Truly. (It would be nice to be down a couple of lbs tho.)
The biggest impact so far?
My boobs are shrinking.
Sigh.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Me on TV
I like being on TV. I think it's fun -- usually.
In my last job, I was the "Hot Jobs" girl on KIIITV evey Tuesday. I came on the 5pm program, read out the week's hot jobs, and bantered with the anchors.
It was fun.
Oprah started on local news, so. . . .
I'm on TV again, but not quite so composed this time. Here is a story the local news did on our workout challenge:
http://www.kiiitv.com/news/local/Local-Leaders-Team-Up-for-Celebrity-Fit-Club-98696214.html?skipthumb=Y
(you may have to cut & paste into your browser. Sorry.)
I am the one in the bright blue shirt struggling up the stairs, making a lame attempt at bravado by raising my arms over my head. The problem was, I could only do it for like 3 nanoseconds, so you might miss it.
Vic's cute tho, right? Although he's getting less and less cute to me as he practices his "cruel-to0be-kind" torture on me.
Three more sets indeed.
In my last job, I was the "Hot Jobs" girl on KIIITV evey Tuesday. I came on the 5pm program, read out the week's hot jobs, and bantered with the anchors.
It was fun.
Oprah started on local news, so. . . .
I'm on TV again, but not quite so composed this time. Here is a story the local news did on our workout challenge:
http://www.kiiitv.com/news/local/Local-Leaders-Team-Up-for-Celebrity-Fit-Club-98696214.html?skipthumb=Y
(you may have to cut & paste into your browser. Sorry.)
I am the one in the bright blue shirt struggling up the stairs, making a lame attempt at bravado by raising my arms over my head. The problem was, I could only do it for like 3 nanoseconds, so you might miss it.
Vic's cute tho, right? Although he's getting less and less cute to me as he practices his "cruel-to0be-kind" torture on me.
Three more sets indeed.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Planning a Wild Nite Out. . .
Tomorrow, I get to have a Girl's Nite Out!
Whoo hoo! Soooooo excited!
I really am lucky I have such an understanding husband. He watches the kiddos, feeds them, bathes them and puts them to bed while I yuk it up with the girls. I don't do it often, but sometimes you gotta let your hair down!
Before I had children, a night out meant dinner at a trendy bistro, followed by cocktails at a club, maybe dancing. Sometimes we would go chic, sometimes we would go casual. Depends.
I have LOTS of wild stories from the past. Lots.
Remember the party scene in Sixteen Candles where Long Duk Dong (played by Gedde Watanabe) opens the door wearing a toga? We had parties like that all the time. (You know the girl wearing Jake's Mom's fur and pearls, and the pearls broke and she cut her best friend's hair off? That was totally me and my friends.)(I am NOT exaggerating.)
These days though, I gotta admit, a nite with the girls looks a little different.
For one thing, I don't drink anymore.
For another, my new idea of a great evening out is going to a Baptist Church with all of my scrapbook supplies and working on my photo albums.
I'm not kidding. I am really going to do that.
And I can't wait.
Whoo hoo! Soooooo excited!
I really am lucky I have such an understanding husband. He watches the kiddos, feeds them, bathes them and puts them to bed while I yuk it up with the girls. I don't do it often, but sometimes you gotta let your hair down!
Before I had children, a night out meant dinner at a trendy bistro, followed by cocktails at a club, maybe dancing. Sometimes we would go chic, sometimes we would go casual. Depends.
I have LOTS of wild stories from the past. Lots.
Remember the party scene in Sixteen Candles where Long Duk Dong (played by Gedde Watanabe) opens the door wearing a toga? We had parties like that all the time. (You know the girl wearing Jake's Mom's fur and pearls, and the pearls broke and she cut her best friend's hair off? That was totally me and my friends.)(I am NOT exaggerating.)
These days though, I gotta admit, a nite with the girls looks a little different.
For one thing, I don't drink anymore.
For another, my new idea of a great evening out is going to a Baptist Church with all of my scrapbook supplies and working on my photo albums.
I'm not kidding. I am really going to do that.
And I can't wait.
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