The Truth about Zumba

I was gonna post a Zumba pic, but I don't have one.

Remember I said I feel like this:

I look more like this:

Only pinker.

Don't care -- Zumba is fun!

ZUMBA!

Tomorrow the guys at V-Fit are hosting a ZUMBATHON!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I LOVE Zumba.

It's exercise, sure, but it's really dancing.

When I hear the sultry Latin beats I swing my hips like Shakira.  I cumbia like Selena.  I salsa like Gloria Estefan. 

I feel like one of Christina Aguilera's backup dancers.

ZUMBA!

I wish I had this outfit. . .

To the Casual Observer. . .

Because Vic and Gabe are SO AWESOME at what they do, V-Fit expanded to 2 locations. 

I love working out there, but it's SO far away, so I don't go very often.

It's actually not that far away.  Those of you who live in cities like Boston (hi Nicki!!!!), or LA (Hi Annabelle M!), or Chicago (Hi David!) would make fun of me if you saw how easy the commute actually is. 

The thing is, my whole life is within five miles from my house.  Church, work, school (mine & kids'), and of course V-Fit.  All a quick few minutes from the house.

The Island location, on the other hand, is 15 miles away from my house.  That's FAR.

But Gabe is there, so it's WORTH IT.

The Island is a full service gym, not just a studio like in town.  It's really nice -- all new equipment, lots of room, and a special room with this awesome flooring that makes doing suicides suck way less than they suck in town.

Because it's full service, lots of people go there who aren't there for personal training.  They go to do the bikes, or the treadmill, or whatever self-disciplined people do at gyms. 

I lack discipline, so I need Gabe to tell me what to do and when to do it.

The self-motivated people watch Gabe put me through my paces.  I watch them watch Gabe put me through my paces.  I watch their eyes get bigger and bigger as they see what he has me do.  I can see the wheels turning in their heads . . . wondering why Gabe is torturing the chubby pink lady.  The wonder if they should call an ambulance, or maybe the police.

They get scared, thinking that what will Gabe do if THEY sign up for personal training.  Will he make them do 25 pushups from their toes?  Will he make them run suicides after each set?   What about those burpees?

I want to reassure them, to tell them how far I've come.  I want to let them know that I enjoy working out with Gabe and that I love how I feel afterwards.

At the studio, everyone knows me.  They know my story and they know what I can do.

But to a casual observer . . .

Deck the Halls with OW OW OW OW. . .

Because I work for a college, I get TWO WEEKS OFF AT CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

I Snoopy Dance every time I think of it.

Because 2 weeks off is AWESOME.

Because I am OFF, I have time to drive all the way to the Island to work out with Gabe!

Let me explain something to those of you who do not live in South Texas.

One of the nice things about living here is that everything is 30 minutes away.  We have virtually no traffic.

Having lived in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Phoenix, I can tell you that the short commute is awesome.

Until you live here a few years. 

Then you realize that everything important is only 5 minutes away.

Five minutes to church.

Five minutes to work.

Five minutes to the grocery store.

Five minutes to V-Fit.

So going ALL THE WAY to the Island feels far. Really, really far.  Hell, I pack a lunch to travel to the other side of the freeway.

Today I went to work out with Gabe.

Good ol' Gabe.

Quiet, gentle Gabe.

First thing he makes me do?  Walk outs.  Then burpees.  Then more walkouts.  Then suicides, push ups, and more walkouts.  Oh yeah -- they have this big rope.  I think it's for mooring ships in hurricane force winds.  It's about 5 inches thick.  I have to take one rope in each hand, squat, and then whip the rope as hard as I can.  So fun.  For about 30 seconds.  Then it's pure agony.

Basically, Gabe hasn't changed a bit.

I can't wait to go to the Island tomorrow! 

Repost: O to be a child again. . . .

Because I can't think of anything new to say, I looked through old posts to see if I felt like re-posting anything.  This one was posted on August 28, 2010.  Funny how some things have changed and some remain the same. 


Yesterday my 2 older boys stayed home from school. They weren't sick or anything -- Joseph's pet jellyfish were being delivered yesterday, and they wanted to make sure to be home for delivery.


Yeah, we have jellyfish for pets.  (They're dead now.)

After the pets made it into their tank safely, I wanted to work out.

I actually wanted to. Weird, right?

We packed a bag full of toys & books and headed out to V-Fit.

The toys and books amused the boys for 25 seconds.

Hardly anyone was there, so it was OK for them to walk around a bit. I was doing jump squats. Jump squats aren't my favorite. Especially when I have to do 4 sets of 25. Especially when the boys thought the squats looked like fun, so they decided to do it too. (4 setsof 25????  Bwahahahhahahah)

When I do jump squats, I jump-squat-grunt. Sometimes I jump-grunt-squat.  (yeah.  still do that)

When my boys do jump squats, they jump-say WHEE-squat-giggle.Then they say "Look, I can go fast!" and do about 30 in quick succession with perfect form and don't sweat.

Then it was time to do these horrible things where I sit on the floor, balance on my butt, keep my feet 6 inches off the floor, and take a 4 lb medicine ball and weave it in a figure 8 around my legs. When you do it right, it looks really, really smooth. When you've had 3 C-Sections, it doesn't look quite so pretty. (still not pretty)

Plus, it's hard to keep everything in. In other words, I go grunt-weave-pfft-grunt-weave-repeat. The "pfft" part made my boys laugh hysterically. Especially because I have always told them that going pfft is very rude.

Only Daddies go "pfft".

Never mommies. (no comment)

Next I did leg presses on the machine. Luke wanted to sit on my lap, but I said no.

"Is it because it will make you fart again?"

"No! Just go play for 5 minutes, willya?"

Finally it was time to do the pit. My boys love the pit. They run down, say "Chase me Mama!" and scoot back up. Over and over. Laughing and giggling while I wheeze and huff.

"Mama - remember when you were playing with that ball and you farted? That was funny!" said Joe, as if it happened years ago and not just 30 minutes ago.

Finally it was time to leave.

We see Victor on the way out. Victor cut his hair short, which really brings out his big brown eyes, his lantern jaw and shows the sinewy muscles of his neck. Sigh.

Victor says "Hey! How was the work out?!"

Luke says "Mama farted!"

That kid is lucky to still be alive

My First Time With A Girl. . .

I admit it, I was nervous.

Self conscious.

I mean -- she's incredible.  Her name is Clarissa, and she is gorgeous. 

Don't believe me?  She produced this video:

I asked if I was her first, but I'm not. 

I'm glad.  Because I needed someone with experience.

By the end of our first time together, I was panting, sweaty and exhausted -- but strangely exhilarated.

She was cool and confident.

Each time I returned, she coaxed me into doing more.  She showed me how to do it right. 

I never thought I would like it with a girl, but honestly, Clarissa has shattered my defenses.  If I can't have Gabe, I'm glad I have her.

She's the new trainer at V-Fit.

What did you think I was talking about?

Like a Virgin

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I work out at V-Fit Studio.  You know that Gabe "The Silent Assassin" is my primary trainer and the studio is owned by Victor.

Handsome Victor.  Dreamy Victor. Victor the Giver. 

Vic the Basterd. 

Last week, Gabe wasn't feeling well, so I did my workout with Vic.  Vic, true to form, came up with a deceptively simple workout, then made me do 10 sets.  With suicides in between.  TEN sets.

Gabe only makes me do 5.

What the hell, it was only for a day.  Besides, Victor is funny, and he flirts, and he laughs at all my jokes.  It didn't hurt that bad. 

Then on Tuesday, Gabe is still not in, so Victor helps me again.  He gives me 10 lb weights and tells me what to do. 

I say "Actually, Gabe has me use 12 lbs on this one".

Victor smiles and says "trust me".

Uh oh.

Victor has an interesting new regimen. 

Low weight, high reps, no rest, many many many sets.

Many many MANY sets.

And no rest in between.

Whimper.

My arms are sore.  Not the pang of muscles pushed hard for a long time.  Not the sore that I get after Gabe puts me through my paces. 

My arms are sore as in I-have-never-worked-out-my-whole-life-and-I-think-I-overdid-it-my-first-time sore.  My muscles burned so much you could have lit a cigar with my shoulder. 

Haven't I been working out for OVER A YEAR?

Haven't I been doing things I could NEVER do before?  Like push ups from my toes, dips, walkouts and don't forget the Around-the-Fucking-Worlds.  Haven't I participated in TWELVE 5Ks?  Didn't I just WIN the CHALLENGE??????????????

Apparently, all that is behind me.

It would be OK if it was just for a day or two, while Gabe is out.

Apparently, Gabe is going to open the new facility on the Island.

Gabe got promoted.

Dammit. 

I mean, good for Gabe!  He deserves it!

So I get Victor.  Dreamy, Handsome, Sadistic Victor.

And I'm starting all over again.

Vic. And Gabe.  I know they are good looking, but DAMMIT!

The Envelope Please. . .

As you may know, I recently competed in a friendly competition with some other community leaders to help bring about increased fitness awareness in our community.

Friendly my ass.  I wanted to win.

It was tough.

For one thing, Victor and Gabe are sadistic basterds who think up exercises like around the world and make me do things like dips.  I love those sadistic basterds, but still.  Dips. 

For another, my competitors included people like Tony.  And Mary.  And Robert.  And Kirby. And Megan.

It was tough.

My partner was Julia.  Julia is a dark haired beauty who works with children.  She is gentle and kind.  She is friendly and smiling.  Fortunately, she is also focused and unstoppable. 

Julia jogged to the bootcamp, worked out as hard as she could, then jogged back home.  Julia worked out 6 or 7 days a week, and then in her spare time played kickball.  Julia was the best partner ever.

At the end of the challenge, I lost 14 lbs, a  percentage of body fat and several inches off my waist, hips, thighs, arms and most of all -- boobs.  At the end of the challenge, Julia had arms like Michelle Obama's. 

Between the two of us, we lost 30lbs, 17inches & 6.9% body fat.  Overall the V Fit Challenge Teams lost 84 lbs, 66 inches and an average of 6.7% Body Fat.

This is one contest where everyone who finishes is a winner. 

I'm not being trite -- I mean it.  I didn't take top prize last year, but participating in the 2010 challenge was one of the highlights of my year.  It started me on a path I never expected to follow.  It made me strong and healthy and gained me lots of friends.

So I am not lying when I say that Tony emerged a winner just for competing.  And Mary.  And Robert. And Kirby.  And Megan. And everyone else that participated.  All of them are winners.

As for me & Julia, we both felt it was an honor just to compete.

Vic announced the winners on October 8th. 

Drumroll please. . . . . .

JULIA AND I WON

WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!
WHOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kirby, Julia, Caitlin & me.  It was a 70's workout.  Shaddap.

Subtracting Ads

Blogger has this feature called Ad Sense where bloggers can agree to have ads posted on their blogs. That way, blog readers can learn about great products and features and bloggers can earn millions of dollars. And since there is nothing wrong with my life that a million bucks can't fix, I signed up. 

I'm still about $999,998.21 shy of a million bucks.

After having Ad Sense on my blog for about 6 months, I only accrued about a buck and some change in ad revenue.

Why?

It could be because I don't have enough readers.

Or it could be that all  my readers are too cheap smart to buy things from blog ads.

It's probably because Ad Sense notes key words on your blog and posts ads that seem to be related to your topics.  Consequently, the only ads I seemed to attract were ads for Weight Watchers (who I hate) and Jillian Michaels (who I also hate).  Telling my readers how much I hate these products is not the most effective way to earn ad revenue.

Know who I love?  V-Fit. 

If you want to spend money to get fit, don't spend it at Weight-Fucking-Watchers or Jillian-Horseface-Michaels.  Spend it at V-Fit.  Skype workouts are available.  And really, really, hard.  And really, really effective. 

I won't earn any ad revenue, but at least I know that all of my 81 wonderful readers will have access to the best. 

Need a New Bucket

I have 3 more 5Ks to run before I finish my goal of 1 5K every month for the year.

Yeay.

I like 5Ks.  They are fun.  They are hard for me.  I feel like I've accomplished something when I finish one.

I don't LOVE 5Ks. 

I haven't gotten much faster since I started.  Hell -- I haven't gotten any faster. 

In 2012, I am not going to run a 5K every month.

I AM going to run Beach to Bay, because B2B is the ultimate.  I will run anything that my guys at V-Fit put on.

But 1 a month?  Nah.

Which begs the question:  what is my fitness goal next year?

Don't tell me to do a 10K, 1/2 Marathon or Marathon.  No thanks.

I do need to accomplish something though.

Something hard for me. 

Something that I have to work on all year long.

Something I can blog about.

Ideas??????

The Miracle of the Internet. . .(and the coolest GOF giveaway EVER)

I was in Austin last week.

For work.

So I couldn't work out.

Or so I thought.

I thought that since I was in Austin for work, I would have to get together with my colleagues, eat rich Mexican food and order dessert.  Because it is a BUSINESS trip.  And also, I would not be able to work out.

Business. 

It's important.

So when I told Gabe that I couldn't come to the gym on Monday, I had on my very saddest sad face.  Poor me.  Have to work.  With Mexican food and dessert.  (Flan.  Yum).  Or maybe Italian and tiramisu.  But it's for WORK. 

Gabe saw through my saddest sad face and said "I can Skype you".

Blink blink.

Skype. 

I love Skype.  It allows me to talk to my friends and family far away and Gabe knows this.  I love Skype almost as much as Facebook, and that's a lot.

Apparently Skype can also be used to schedule a one on one appointment with your trainer for anywhere in the world.

Stoopid Skype.

Then I thought -- how hard can a Skype workout be?  I won't have any weights with me.  I won't have any equipment.  A few jumping jacks and that should do it, right?

Ummmm.. . no.

We started our workout with Leg Cranks.  (24 squats, 24 lunges, 24 jump squats, 24 jump lunges).  Five sets.  Then 5 sets of walk-outs. . . I may have mentioned those before.  Lots and lots of sets of bicycle crunches.  (don't ask). 

After 30 minutes, I was just as out of breath and soaking wet as I always am after working with Gabe.  Only this time, all I had to drink was the $10 of bottled water they put in the room.

And. . .since I did a brutal and sweaty workout, when I went for my Mexican feast, I ordered carne asada tacos on corn tortillas and charro beans.  No cheese.  No enchiladas.  No flan. I looked it up on Weight-fucking-Watchers.  The whole meal was only 10 points.  I only had about 6 chips before dinner too. 

I didn't mean to make sensible food choices, I swear.

Stoopid Skype.

Here's my giveaway:

Because of stoopid Skype, you too can workout with my friends at V-Fit.  Even if you live in Pakistan!  (Hi Mariam!)

For my give away, I will give the winner one 30 minute Skype workout with V-Fit.  All you have to do is leave a comment on the blog.  Not on facebook, not on my e-mail. 

I will announce the winner next Friday (September 9, 2011).

You should totally enter. 

Fun and Pains

I never shoulda told Gabe I could do push ups from my toes.

When you can do push ups from your toes, you are eligible for lots of other fun exercises. 

Like "walk-outs".  Walk-outs start from a standing position.  Then you bend down, touch the floor, walk your hands out to a push-up position, do a goddam push up, then walk your hands back to your toes, then stand up.  I get to do 4 sets of 10.  Or 15, depending on what else Gabe has for me.

You also get to do planks.  A plank is a push up position held in place for a period of time.  Gabe says it's only 60 seconds but I think he meant 60 MINUTES.  Because that's how it feels.  Sometimes, just for fun, Gabe puts a 25lb weight on my back as I plank.  I am not lying. 

Today we did a fun one.

Around the World!

Doesn't that sound cute?  Doesn't it evoke images of happy children in national costume holding hands and dancing in a circle?  Doesn't it make you think of exotic places with women in colorful fabrics handing you glasses of the local refreshment?  It makes one think of fun drinking games and nights of hilarity.  Around the World.  How delightful.

I think a more appropriate name would be "Circle of Agony". 

To do an Around the World, you begin in a plank position.  Then you do a push up.  Then you walk your hands a few degrees to the left - or right, depending on which hemisphere Gabe is working on -- and do another push up.  The you move your hands a few more degrees, push up, walk hands, push up and so it goes until you have turned a full 360 degrees. 

You may have heard the expression "Horses sweat, Men perspire and Ladies glisten."  My glistening left a perfectly round mark in the carpet that won't dry for a few more days. 

I bet next week Gabe makes me do a variation he'll call "Mary-Go-Round".  An "Around the World" with Victor standing on my ass.

I just hope he takes his shoes off first.
 

The Competition Intensifies

We're already in week 4 for this year's Leadership Fitness Challenge.

Last year's challenge was amazing.  Humbling.  Eye opening.  Enriching.  My favorite part of last year's challenge was the people it brought into my life.  Vic.  Gabe.  Ricky. Scott.  Mary.  So many others.

Mary is the leader for Spohn Hospital.  She, Scott & I are the only three of the original LFC that worked out with Vic all year.  We are the only 3 back in this year's LFC.  Mary's team won the challenge last year. They earned it -- I gotta give her that.

Mary and I have a lot more in common than first names. We both went to University of Wisconsin and we have the same birthday. Weird, right? Mary is funny and beautiful and smart and successful and she works out so hard. Apparently she also was a size 24 not too long ago, although you'd never know it to look at her now. Mary and I are now friends. Real friends. Let's-grab-lunch friends.

Mary and her awesome husband Ron have a beautiful daughter named Rachel who works out with us, and who is also one of my kiddos' favorite babysitters. (They also love a beautiful blond girl named Natasha. I think my boys already love blonds. Should I worry?) Anyway - I love Mary to pieces.

I really, really, really want to beat Mary in this year's challenge.

I have a good start. For one thing, my partner this year is AWESOME. Her name is Julia and she is SO committed. Julia works for a part of the college that I rarely get to see -- our Early Childhood Development department. Julia is just the kind of person you would want working with your kids -- smiling, gentle, kind. Beneath that glowing exterior, however, beats the heat of a tiger. She works out almost every day -- and get this: she RUNS to the studio and then she RUNS home. I can already tell that her arms are defining, her waist has whittled and she is glowing strength and fitness. With a partner like that, don't I have it in the bag?

I'm not counting my chickens.

For one thing, this year we have A LOT of really committed people.  Kirby.  Megan.  Luisa.  Caitlin.  Jason. Robert.  Yoli.  Any of these incredible people have a chance of bringing it home.

But Mary is playing dirty.  Mary has Tony.

Sigh.

Tony will not be easy to beat.

Not easy to beat at all.

Tony is big. Tony is strong. Tony is funny and smart and likable. Dammit.

Tony is like many of us who have hit our forties -- he put on a bit of weight (which is rapidly coming off), his joints are a little creaky, and working out was pretty foreign to him until Mary enlisted him as her partner.

But Mary knew what she was doing. Tony isn't your run of the mill work-out-for-a-few-weeks-lose-some-weight-and-call-it-a-day kind of guy.  Tony is a I-am-going-to-win-even-if-it-kills-me kind of guy.

Tony works out until it hurts and then he works out some more. Tony keeps us laughing throughout the workout -- I think it's a strategy to weaken our focus. Tony has been sticking to the diet plan religiously and already has lost over 10 lbs.  He is getting smaller and stronger by the day.

Tony has become my buddy.  How could I not like him?  He's from Chicago for Chrissake.  He's like a brother to me.  Tony reminds me of where I started a year ago.  In spite of myself, I really, really want Tony to do well.

That's what scares me. 

If I am going to beat Mary, I hafta beat Tony.

It won't be easy. 

Good Thing It's Not About Looks. . .

Many people work out so they can look fitter, skinnier, prettier.

I have said all along that my goal is NOT about how I look, but how healthy I am.

What is important is good blood, fit joints and strength.

Not looks.

Good thing.  'Cause this ain't pretty.



Dips.  I am balancing on one heel and dipping my fat ass then pulling it back up.  Couldn't do these in High School.

Starving Scorpion

Dear Weight Watchers:

Today is day four of the new Points Plus! for me.  With all the fruit at Zero Points!  I'm eating my Power Foods!  And I'm Fucking Starving!

Your website says "Try adding more fiber to fill you up!"  and "Don't forget to drink your water!" 

I say "I'm still Fucking Starving!"

I hate you.  See you on Tuesday.

From,

The Starving Scorpion

Dear Vic:

Last night was my 3rd Leadership Fitness Challenge!

Ricky made us do the Scorpion.  That was a new one.  We had to plank from our elbows, then lift our right leg and bring it over our left leg.  We had to do that 20 fucking times, then we had to switch legs.

This morning, I figured out why it's called the Scorpion.  It stings your ass like crazy.

Sorry for being cranky, I am starving and my ass hurts.

See you tomorrow.

Love,

The Starving Scorpion

Another year of AWESOME!

Today we began the SECOND ANNUAL LEADERSHIP FITNESS CHALLENGE!

The Leadership Fitness Challenge is where it all started for me.  One of my biggest pet peeves is people who say "This changed my life!".  So I am not going to say that.

I will say that this enriched my life.  With fitness, yes, but also with friends, challenges and new kinds of fun. 

This time, I am the leader for my College because our president has one of those schedules that makes you tired just to look at it.  He would do it, but I decided that I would be the leader this year because I KNOW I can make all the workouts and I really want to beat Spohn Hospital.  Not that I am competitive or anything.

I was looking at some shots from the very first LEADERSHIP FITNESS CHALLENGE.

This was after I fell off this damn thing but had to get up and pretend it didn't hurt.  Becasue I was embarassed.

Let's just say that I've come a long way.

Here's to a new year of awesome!  And to beating Spohn Hospital!

The real reason why I love Victor. . ..

I've written about Vic before.

He owns V-Fit -- the fitness studio where I work out.  The place where I was first able to do triceps curls and "real" push ups.  The place where I have been able to drop my blood pressure, blood sugar, and bra size.  The place where I have met wonderful friends who encourage me to try, fail and try again.

That's not why I love Vic.

Vic assigned me to work out with Gabe.  Gentle, kind Gabe who doesn't shout, doesn't sneer and doesn't take excuses.  We call Gabe the "Silent Assassin" because he very quietly kills you with his workouts.  I call him "Silent but Deadly".  Seriously -- he worked my back & shoulders two days ago.  I am still sore.  Did you know your armpits could hurt?  Despite the pain, Gabe has been a wonderful coach, mentor and friend.

That's not why I love Vic.

Vic is slightly hot looking.  If you like guys with perfectly tone bodies, chiseled bone structure, shiny black hair and the deepest, dreamiest brown eyes since Greg Afuso.  And he's mostly straight!  (Just kidding. He's all the way straight.)  (He is pretty Metro though.  I love Metro guys!)  On more than one occasion, friends of mine have seen Victor and come to me drooling.  "HE is your trainer!  OMG I want to work out with you!"  Of course they never show up, the cowards.

That's not why I love Vic.

It was yesterday that I realized exactly why I love him. 

Yesterday was the 5K I ran for June.  As you may know, I have run one 5K every month since October 2010.  Yesterday I finished my 9th.  Wow.  Nine.  That's a lot. 

That's not why I love Vic.

It was one of the most enjoyable 5K's I've run.  It was at sunrise on the beach.  Sounds romantic, right?  Sunrise in June is the only time you can run without getting heat stroke.  But it was still pretty frigging hot.

I haven't done a lot of running on the beach.  It's more challenging that running on the road.  For one thing, you have to scoot around to find sand that's not too soft.  We were kinda zig-zagging all over the place.  I am pretty sure we covered more than 3.1 miles.  Felt like 10. 

I was proud of myself becasue I ran the whole first half no problem.  At the turn around, I was running pretty close to the water.  By then my feet were sore and hot, but I still had more than a mile to go.  A wave came in and soaked my feet. 

I wasn't happy to have my expensive shoes all wet, but lemme tell ya -- that water felt GOOD!

I kept running in & out of the water, until my shoes got so waterlogged it was like running with 15 lb weights on my feet.  Gabe makes me run with 15 lbs weights on my feet, so I know what I am talking about.

It was the beach.  The water felt good.  My shoes were heavy.  I was going slow.

I figured "Fuggit -- I'm taking my shoes off".  So I did.

Running in bare feet in the soft South Texas surf felt WONDERFUL.

That's not why I love Vic.

I love him because he put on this 5K to help the victims of the Mississippi Floods.

He raised $800.

I realized yesterday that Vic is always doing that.  He set up a scholarship for students to attend Del Mar College. He raised money for Tsunami victims.  He participated in Toys for Tots. He hosted a run for Metro Ministries.  He finds ways to raise money for those in need.

I love Vic because Vic is a giver.

He's not rich yet.  He's still building his business.  But he's not waiting until he has "extra" money to give.  He gives now.    I met Vic when he donated his services for the Mayor's Fitness Challenge last summer. The retail cost of that challenge was over $2000, just for me. We had 13 people in that challenge. Vic -- who was just opening his business -- essentially gave us $26,000.00.

So not only did Vic give me a safe and comfortable place to become my best physical self, he gave me and my community thousands of dollars. 


Vic's business is growing.  He and Gabe are expanding into another location, they are increasing their clientele, and they are bringing new and exciting services to our community.  That's not an accident.  The great sales and self-actualization guru Zig Ziglar said "You can have everything you want in life as long as you help other people get what they want in life."  Vic is helping me get what I want in life.  I hope he earns MILLIONS.  Billions. 

In fact -- if you live in South Texas, check out V-Fit.  Take a couple of classes.

You will love Vic too.

My very first day working out with Vic

Just one of many successes since I started working out with V-Fit





Did You Know. . .

That today is http://www.giftoffat.com's/ birthday! 

To celebrate, I will eat a cupcake and let someone take a photo of me smashing it in my face. 

I originally concieved of The Gift of Fat as a book.   A New York Times Bestselling book.

My book will explore a fat girl's life.  (yeah -- that's never been done before. *snort*).

I have been fat all of my life.  A lot of people think that they are fat. In many cases, it's more of a self-perception than a concrete reality. Not that the fat feelings are any less significant, it's just that . . .well, it's different. In my case, everyone else knew I was fat too. How. . . .validating.

My book will be original because I will explain how I came to realize -- in my 30's -- that while being fat really really sucks, there are gifts associated with being fat.  No one ever talks about the gifts.

Gifts like devloping a quick sense of humor.  Developing a strong sense of justice.  A powerful work ethic and a thirst to prove that I can do anything a thin person can do.  Gifts like realizing that I stand out -- and if I wasn't fat, I would look just like everybody else.  Friendships.  Experiences.  Revelations.  Advocacy. The book will cover all of those things.

I started the blog to begin chapters of my book.  I thought I could just tie up all the blog posts in a shiny package and sell it to Penguin Books, who would publish it with great fanfare and retail it at $29.99 hardcover, $9.99 on Kindle. 

Turns out, the blog is not the book. 

Not that there won't be a book.  There will be.  I think.  The blog serves different, but important purposes.

I am a sucker for being the center of attention, and I love to make people laugh.  Much of this blog has been trying to make you laugh, which guarantees me a spot in the center of attention for a few minutes.

The blog is also about my journey.  My journey into fitness. . .and my newfound passion for working out.  I never expected to love excercise.  In fact, did I just write that I love excercise?  WTF?

I don't consider myself a "mommy-blogger", but I am a mom. . . so I write about it.

I never expected the blog to be relational.  Who knew you could make friends with people you've never met?  Turns out -- I have made cyber friends.  Nikki, Lex, Andi, Annabelle, plus my wonderful commenters (Hi Diane!).

Mostly, the blog helps me find my "voice".  Writing the blog has been a great experience.  I plan to continue.

For at least another year.

Scared Grasshopper

Remember when I started working out with Vic and I got kinda cocky and I'm all "I am going to run a 5K every month for a year!" ?

And I have *cough* "run" one 5 K a month since October 2010.

It's been great!  I've had lots of fun, got lots of T-Shirts and have beat my best more than once. 

This month is different.

This month is the 36th Annual Beach to Bay relay marathon.

I heard you gasp.   Don't worry -- It's a RELAY marathon.  I am not going to run it by myself. 

And that's what scares me to DEATH. 

I am running with five other people.  Five awesome people.  Our team is called Victor's Grasshoppers.  Isn't that a stooopid name?  I couldn't think of any other names.  I just kinda think of Victor as Master Po -- only not blind.  And we are like David Carradine. . .without the auto-erotic asphyxiation.  We're going to wear vivid green shirts.  And pink skorts.  Well, I am wearing a pink skort.  Don't know about the other guys.

I'm running the shortest. . .I mean first leg. 

Fear #1: Five other, awesome people are going to have to make up time for me.

It is the largest relay marathon in the US.  NO OTHER PLACE in our country has a marathon relay this big. 

Fear #2: What if I am SO SLOW that my relay partner gives up and goes home?

It's so big, we have to take a shuttle to the race.

Fear #3: What if I am so slow I miss the shuttle back home?

I am "running" the beach leg. 

Fear #4:  What if I am so slow that the Sexy Seniors running club kicks sand in my face as they pass me?

The beach leg is short, but it's on sand.  So it's challenging.

Fear #5: What if I am SO SLOW that the race is over by the time I pass the baton?

This Saturday, if you see a sweaty, sandy, slow, scared runner wearing a green T-Shirt and a pink skort -- that will be me.

Nine (9) Months

I have been working out since July 10, 2010. 

That's nine (9) months of Vic.  Nine (9) months of sweating.  Grunting.  Swearing.  Nine (9) months of making a fool out of myself and then running to my keyboard so I could tell you about it.

Nine (9) months ago, I couldn't have carried  my 34 lb child almost a mile.  Saturday, I did just that -- at the Naval Air Station Corpus Christi Airshow. 

Nine (9) months ago, I couldn't buy a sports bra anywhere but the plus size section of Lane Bryant.  Yesterday I bought an XL off the rack at Kohl's.  (Still can't buy belts, but bras?  Oh yeah.  My girls are shrinking)

Nine (9) months ago, an afternoon of pruning trees would render me useless for three days.  Sunday, I didn't even break a sweat.

Nine (9) months ago I didn't know Vic.  Or Gabe.  Or Ricky (sigh).  Or Mary L or Laurie L or the Other Laurie or Maria or Dana or Dee-Ann or Jesse or Liz or Lee or Rene or Tim or any of the awesome people that are now my V-Fit friends.  That's the best part.

I'm still fat.  I'm just not as fat as I was nine (9) months ago.  And I am a whole lot fitter.

Nine (9) months.