The Villiage Idiot

"It takes a village to raise a child"

I have always hated that motto.  It's so trite.  Hackneyed.  Leftist.  And wrong.

It doesn't take a village.  It takes loving parents to raise a child. 

Loving parents who have really, really good friends.

Like my friend Herb who went to pick up #3 son at 6:30 one evening because Greg thought I was picking him up and I thought Greg was picking him up and neither one of us could be reached by cell phone.

A few months ago, Herb's wife Sarah picked up the same kid for the same reason.

Heh. 

Or my friend Laura who called me in Austin last week to ensure that #1 son had a ride to scouts.  Because she knew that his dad was overwhelmed with being on his own, and felt that if he could manage to keep the kids alive while I was out of town, then he succeeded.  Scouts was just a little TOO much on the plate.

Saturday, in addition to the usual routine, I had to return rental cars and close out books for the conference.  Laura had a kid in the doctor's office.  Both of our #1 sons had to be in the track meet.  Both of our husbands had to work. 

We solved the problem by having her husband drop off and my husband pick up. 

Then there was the horrible night almost 5 years ago when I was pregnant with #3 and bleeding copiously in the middle of the night.  Greg took #1 & #2 to our friends Terry & Mary's house to sleep over so we could go to the ER. 

As you know, everything turned out OK.  Our precious # 3 is a miracle and we thank God every day for him.  We don't always pick him up from daycare on time, be we do thank God for him.

We also thank God for our friends.  Our village.  Thanks to them, we'll be able to raise these boys, despite the fact that Greg & I are truly the Village Idiots.

Eva's Final Gifts

This was the saddest week I've had in like. . . .ever.

The funeral is over, the family is trying to get back to a routine, and Facebook is still ringing with "Eva" memories.

I wasn't going to blog about it anymore.  You've all been with me, and I know it makes you sad too.  It's time for me to be funny again.

But I just had to do ONE MORE.

As you know, "Eva" and I have been friends since 2000. 

She's given me many gifts -- a Diaper Genie (that we used for 2 children), a decent maternity skirt, a Christmas ornament, and some pretty stationary.  Mostly, she's given me the gift of honesty, which I wrote about here and here.  (In the second one, I used "Eva's" real name.  Because it was years ago.  Her real name is Erika. I think she's OK that I tell you that now)

As she fought her illness, she gave us all the gift of perspective, because every post she put on Facebook was an affirming post.  EVERY ONE. 

And, in the end, she gave me something I will cherish forever.

New friends.

The thing about Erika is that she has a million friends.  Maybe a million and 10.  Everybody loves her.  I'm not just saying that because she's gone. . . everyone does love her.  The Corpus Christi Cathedral was PACKED for 2 days to honor this woman and her family. 

Of all the people she loves, it's always been obvious who she loves the most:  Todd, her husband, and her kiddos.  OK - that's a given.  And to see Todd so strong and tall (and handsome -- seriously.  Erika married a hottie) -- my heart swelled in gratitude that such a great man was by her side.

But she also loves -- and LIKES -- her family.  Her sister and her Mom were her very best friends.  She loved and admired her Dad and was so proud to work in the family business.  I always felt like I knew Leslie because even though she lives in another city, Erika was always talking about Leslie this and Leslie that.  She was so proud of her little sister. 

I do know her mom and her dad, and I can totally understand why they are so close. 

I am already friends with her cousin Roland.  He and I were in leadership together and he is one of those wonderful guys that you put on your Men-I-Would-Marry-If-I-Weren't-Already-Married list.  (What?  Don't you have one of those lists??)

Roland kept me abreast of everything that was going on, and I took it upon myself to tell everyone else.

Erika and I have some friends in common, and keeping the prayer vigil made us closer.  Sonja, Carmen, Lisa, Robbie -- I love you guys!  I'm sorry it took THIS to reconnect.  I appreciate that we were together in our grief.

Through the dark days, I realized that Erika and I had some other friends in common.  Amy, Linda, Emily. . . now we're closer because we connected through Erika.

And at the end, we came together with some other wonderful people.  Leslie -- the sister Erika adored.  Even though her grief was incredible, she made sure to comfort me.  I am inspired by how selfless this family is.  Melissa, Rene, and all the cousins who allowed me to enter in the circle of their grief.  To cry with them, the laugh with them -- it's a blessing I won't forget.  I've even made "Facebook Friends" with some people I haven't yet met, but because we both loved Erika, we connected. 

In the end, Erika -- "Eva" -- gave me new friends.

Thanks Erika.  I love you!

See how beautiful???? 

Christmas Wishes

I am feeling so grateful this Christmas.

Hubby got a great new job.  It's filled with promise and new challenges.

I'm in the best shape of my life.

My boys are wonderful -- funny, smart, and truly kind.

I have wonderful friends.  You know how you spend time with someone, and when they leave you think to yourself "I am so blessed to have her/him/them in my life?  I feel that way about dozens of people.

We are all healthy and happy.

Thank you God.

I have one wish.

It's for one of my dear friends.  I'm going to call her Eva, because I don't know if she wants me to share her struggles with everyone. 

Eva & I have been friends for about 12 years. We met through a service sorority.  OK, I'll admit it -- it was the Junior League.  Yes, I am a bow head.  I actually am no longer involved with the League, but I think it's an awesome group of women and I really enjoyed my my time there.  Plus, I made amazing friends.  Like Eva.

Eva is going through hell right now.

Hell is not the right word for it.  Pretend that you have been dipped repeatedly into scalding water and then are forced to walk barefoot over broken glass.  Oh yeah -- and your nose has been sealed shut and you are forced to breathe through a straw.  Your muscles are so weak you have to use a wheelchair.  And you have to go through this for a year.

Plus you have a two small children, a husband and a business to run.

That's Eva's life right now.  Only worse.

Her husband, Tom, gets my vote for Husband of the Year.  He is absolutely devoted to Eva and he is making sure that the kids still have a somewhat normal life.  Eva's parents -- Beto & Sara -- are great too.  Together, they are pulling together to get the family through this.

Here is a typical Eva Facebook post:  Went to doctor today.  Decided to undergo chemo.  So grateful to the wonderful professionals here who are working so hard for me.

Here's another:  Tom came by with a huge bouquet of flowers.  How did I deserve such an awesome husband?

This one made me break down and cry:  So proud of you Mary!  You inspire me!

I inspire her?  I inspire her???? 

Eva is undergoing the most harrowing experience of her life, but she is reminding us of the good in our lives. 

I wish she didn't have to go through this. 

I wish they could find a wonder drug, give it to her once and have her life go back to normal.

My Christmas wish -- actually, my daily prayer -- is that Eva & Tom and their family continue to have the strength to endure this.  I pray that this suffering leads to untold blessings.  God blessed Job, I know he will bless Eva.

I love you Eva!  I am so grateful to have you in my life.  Merry Christmas my beautiful, strong friend.

The Giving Tree - a repost

I posted this on December 5, 2011.  Feel exactly the same way this year.

Fair warning -- this post is going to be sappy as hell. Sentimental. Cloying.


I am in that kind of mood.

When I went to mass this morning, I was so grateful to Greg for staying home with the boys so I could go to mass on my own. No one pulled off my pants, stuck their hands down my blouse or repeated "Look Mama! It's Father Roger!" all through mass.

The mass was beautiful. I love the advent colors -- purple with gold. I love the candles, I love the symbolism, I love the prayers. Mostly, I love the people at Mass.

The Giving Tree was up -- this is our way to provide The Ark with gifts and needed items for the year. We select an ornament off the tree. The ornament has a child's age and gender on it, with an item that needs to be purchased. These kids need toys, but more than that, they need toiletries, clothes, medicine. What they really need is a safe and loving home, but unfortunately, the Giving Tree isn't much help there.

The Ark is an emergency shelter for kids who have to be removed from their homes. Usually, they have to be removed because of violence, neglect and abuse. Frequently children are removed in the dead of night, when drinking and drugs bring out the worst in those who are supposed to protect them. These kiddos come from all ages, races, religions and income levels. Most of them come from poverty -- if only because the poor have fewer mechanisms to control the damage done by the violence.

As soon as mass was over, families descended upon the tree -- taking one, two or three ornaments. People where waiting four and five deep. I know many of the families clamoring for the ornaments. When you know people, you learn their struggles. I saw people who suffered layoffs this year. People who have suffered miscarriages and other medical emergencies. People who have several small children at home. People who are caring for terminally ill parents. I saw people who struggle with addictions of their own. I saw single parent families and even a family that lost a child. Struggling families who couldn't wait to help the kids at The Ark.

We're going to do what we can too. We'll give. It will be nothing compared to what we have received. I am grateful for the chance to attend mass on my own. More than that, I am grateful for the chance to be a part of this Parish family.

A Week With My Boys

Since school started this week, I decided to take last week off and just spend it with my kids. 

It didn't hurt that keeping them home saved us $250 in camp fees.

We went to the Aquarium, the water park, the arcade, the beach and got raspas almost every day.  (Raspa is Tex-Mex for Snow-Cone).  We went to the movies, and hosted a small dinner party where the guest of honor was one of our beloved priests. 

We also got haircuts, bought school shoes, and had the pre-school physical.

Two observations:

1.  SAHMs are rock-stars.  I haven't been so tired in I don't know when. 

2.  The mundane was as fun -- or more fun -- than the "events". 

There is just something cool about watching a 6 year old put on a new pair of tennies.  (Sneakers, gym shoes, I don't know whachacallem.  Tennies.)   Remember when new tennies made you jump higher, run faster and stop on a dime? 

I had to giggle when the 3 year old looked at his new haircut and exclaimed "I'm handsome! Right, Mama?"

I was proud of my 10 year old for helping his brothers navigate public restrooms, crowded aquariums and kept them entertained while I did my (almost) daily workouts. 

All in all, it was a great week.

God, I need a nap.

The boys with our guests -- Father Pat, Declan & John.

The real reason why I love Victor. . ..

I've written about Vic before.

He owns V-Fit -- the fitness studio where I work out.  The place where I was first able to do triceps curls and "real" push ups.  The place where I have been able to drop my blood pressure, blood sugar, and bra size.  The place where I have met wonderful friends who encourage me to try, fail and try again.

That's not why I love Vic.

Vic assigned me to work out with Gabe.  Gentle, kind Gabe who doesn't shout, doesn't sneer and doesn't take excuses.  We call Gabe the "Silent Assassin" because he very quietly kills you with his workouts.  I call him "Silent but Deadly".  Seriously -- he worked my back & shoulders two days ago.  I am still sore.  Did you know your armpits could hurt?  Despite the pain, Gabe has been a wonderful coach, mentor and friend.

That's not why I love Vic.

Vic is slightly hot looking.  If you like guys with perfectly tone bodies, chiseled bone structure, shiny black hair and the deepest, dreamiest brown eyes since Greg Afuso.  And he's mostly straight!  (Just kidding. He's all the way straight.)  (He is pretty Metro though.  I love Metro guys!)  On more than one occasion, friends of mine have seen Victor and come to me drooling.  "HE is your trainer!  OMG I want to work out with you!"  Of course they never show up, the cowards.

That's not why I love Vic.

It was yesterday that I realized exactly why I love him. 

Yesterday was the 5K I ran for June.  As you may know, I have run one 5K every month since October 2010.  Yesterday I finished my 9th.  Wow.  Nine.  That's a lot. 

That's not why I love Vic.

It was one of the most enjoyable 5K's I've run.  It was at sunrise on the beach.  Sounds romantic, right?  Sunrise in June is the only time you can run without getting heat stroke.  But it was still pretty frigging hot.

I haven't done a lot of running on the beach.  It's more challenging that running on the road.  For one thing, you have to scoot around to find sand that's not too soft.  We were kinda zig-zagging all over the place.  I am pretty sure we covered more than 3.1 miles.  Felt like 10. 

I was proud of myself becasue I ran the whole first half no problem.  At the turn around, I was running pretty close to the water.  By then my feet were sore and hot, but I still had more than a mile to go.  A wave came in and soaked my feet. 

I wasn't happy to have my expensive shoes all wet, but lemme tell ya -- that water felt GOOD!

I kept running in & out of the water, until my shoes got so waterlogged it was like running with 15 lb weights on my feet.  Gabe makes me run with 15 lbs weights on my feet, so I know what I am talking about.

It was the beach.  The water felt good.  My shoes were heavy.  I was going slow.

I figured "Fuggit -- I'm taking my shoes off".  So I did.

Running in bare feet in the soft South Texas surf felt WONDERFUL.

That's not why I love Vic.

I love him because he put on this 5K to help the victims of the Mississippi Floods.

He raised $800.

I realized yesterday that Vic is always doing that.  He set up a scholarship for students to attend Del Mar College. He raised money for Tsunami victims.  He participated in Toys for Tots. He hosted a run for Metro Ministries.  He finds ways to raise money for those in need.

I love Vic because Vic is a giver.

He's not rich yet.  He's still building his business.  But he's not waiting until he has "extra" money to give.  He gives now.    I met Vic when he donated his services for the Mayor's Fitness Challenge last summer. The retail cost of that challenge was over $2000, just for me. We had 13 people in that challenge. Vic -- who was just opening his business -- essentially gave us $26,000.00.

So not only did Vic give me a safe and comfortable place to become my best physical self, he gave me and my community thousands of dollars. 


Vic's business is growing.  He and Gabe are expanding into another location, they are increasing their clientele, and they are bringing new and exciting services to our community.  That's not an accident.  The great sales and self-actualization guru Zig Ziglar said "You can have everything you want in life as long as you help other people get what they want in life."  Vic is helping me get what I want in life.  I hope he earns MILLIONS.  Billions. 

In fact -- if you live in South Texas, check out V-Fit.  Take a couple of classes.

You will love Vic too.

My very first day working out with Vic

Just one of many successes since I started working out with V-Fit





Looks like I Survived

Not only did the world not end, but I also finished Beach 2 Bay.  And lived.

Wow. 

The Beach 2 Bay was an incredible "Bucket List" type of experience.  I've run 5Ks before -- that alone is a challenge for me, but the Beach 2 Bay is a big deal.  There 2575 teams.  Multiply that by 6 people, and you have -- wait, lemme find my calculator -- 15,450 people running in Corpus Christi. 

My trainer Gabe was faster than 15,438 of them.  His team came in second over all.  He is awesome!  It took them just 2 hours, 21 minutes and 59 seconds to finish the race.

My friend Reena's team was faster than all but one of the women's teams.  She also is awesome.  Their team came in at 2 hours, 58 minutes and 23.6 seconds.

That means that two of my friends were done before I even got on the shuttle bus back to my car. 

My team, Victor's Grasshoppers, came in 697 out of 981 in our category.  That's in the top 71%!  Whoot!

The most difficult part of the event was not the running -- although I did walk more than I wanted to.  The most difficult part was the logistics.  I had to catch the shuttle between 5 & 6 am.  That's the middle of the night as far as I am concerned.  The race started at 7, I was finished at 8, and then had to wait another 2 hours to get a shuttle back to the car.  Then the shuttle was stuck in traffic for another hour and a half.  I didn't get home until 12:30pm. 

The waiting wouldn't have been so bad if we had access to shade and water.  We didn't.

Would I run it again?  Yes. 

Next year?  I'm gonna place in the top 690!

My Valentine to V-Fit

I went to the doctor today.

Not Dr. Jellyfinger, the other one. (Sorry Shawn.  I couldn't resist)

Since I last saw this doctor, I have lost 25 lbs and my blood pressure is way down. 

WOOOT!

THIS is the reason I have been doing this:



Yes, I am carrying a TIRE over my head.



And THIS:

 What rhymes with TRUCK?  Exactly. 

The doctor was very encouraged. 

Her: "Yeay YOU!  You've been exercising!"

Me: "I have!"

Her: "And watching what you eat!"

Me:  "ummmmm, no.  We're not there yet."

Her:  "OK. But we need to get there, OK?"

Me:  "Ummmmm. . . I pushed a truck."

So I am happy with this mini-victory.  So Happy Valentine's Day Vic, Gabe, Ricky & Mari!  (You haven't heard me mention Mari?  Sorry.  She's adorable.  But not in a Vic way.  So you can understand why I don't blog about her.  Heh.)

I pink-puffy-healthy-heart you guys!

My First Blog Award!

Nicki at The Loaded Handbag gave me MY FIRST BLOG AWARD!  (Yes, I expect to win many, many more blog awards. Many more.)

THANK YOU NICKI!

I am the recipient of The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award. 

Isn't this SWEET!

I must now list 5 guilty pleasures and then give the Award to three others.

Narrowing down my millions of guilty pleasures to just five is very very hard.  But here they are:

1.) Facebook.  I wish I could quit you.

2.) HGTV's Designed to Sell.  My favorite designer is Tanya.  I also like Monica. 

3.) Katie Perry. (blush)

4.) Jane Green books.  Especially Jemima J. 

5.) Deep fried avocados from La Playa.  (Don't judge me.  They are the answer.) 

Finding three blogs to pass the award to is easy.   I'm giving this award to:

Annabel from Annabel Manners, Lex from Loose Leaf Writing;  and Catherine from Wink at Me.

Maybe I should pick up a strawberry cheesecake to celebrate?  Yes?

Happy Birthday to Me. . . .

Today I am 45.

When I was 25, I had a plan for where I would be now.  Fortunately, I am pretty much where I thought I would be in life.  I have a husband, kids, a house, a job.  At 45 my kids are probably younger than I expected, my house isn't as grand as I thought it would be, and I had NO idea I would be working here.  Hell, at 25 I had no idea I would ever live in Texas again.  (My family lived in Dallas for a year when I was 8.  My mother hated it.)

At 25 I had no idea that I wouldn't care that I am not driving a Beemer anymore.  In fact, my 45 year old self is kinda making fun of my 25 year old self for caring about the Beemer in the first place.

At 25 I had no idea that I wouldn't return to graduate school until I was 43.  I thought I'd be finished with my JD or MBA or whatever by 35.  Except that I didn't set a goal to go back to school, so that never happened.

I did set a goal to be happily married.  Guess what?  I'm happily married.  Very happily married.  In fact, Greg was cracking me up this weekend -- after all these years his sense of humor is still so refreshing.

I did set a goal to be involved with my church.  Guess what?  My church is part of my family.  Christ is such a central point of our lives -- way more than I envisioned at 25. 

I did set a goal to own a BMW.  I owned one.  Big whoop.  Not as rewarding as the husband or the church.

I set a goal to be financially independent.  Guess what?  We are almost there.  We pay cash for everything and we have only Greg's goddamn student loan and the house to pay off.  God willing, within 5-7 years, we will have NO DEBT.  Honestly, my 25 year old self pictured financial independence differently.  I envisioned a lot more stuff.  Fortunately, the reality of financial independence is less stuff, more security.  More peace.  Dave Ramsey knows what he's talking about. 

I set a goal to have 2 kids.  A boy and a girl.  I surpassed my goal.  Three boys means that some day I will have a daughter-in-law or two.  Or three.  Again, at 25, I had no idea how much I would like these people that look so much like my husband.  I knew I would love them.  Admittedly, I had no idea of the intensity.  But I really like them.  Most of the time. 

I set a goal to be a size 8.  HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA.  What  stupid goal.  Who cares what size I am?  Not me. 

No, I am FAR from that goal.  But I am healthy.  And strong.  (Dude -- Gabe worked  my shoulders so hard last night that I can barely lift my arms to type.  Ow.)  I can do things I never thought I would do.  Like a real push up.  Or "run" a 5 K.  Again, my reality is better than my vision.

The key is setting goals.  Goals that matter.  The experts say you must have SMART goals.  (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic & Timed).

At 45, I am setting more goals. 

I wonder what they will look like when I'm 65?

I'll let you know!

The Giving Tree

Fair warning -- this post is going to be sappy as hell.  Sentimental.  Cloying.

I am in that kind of mood. 

When I went to mass this morning, I was so grateful to Greg for staying home with the boys so I could go to mass on my own.  No one pulled off my pants, stuck their hands down my blouse or repeated "Look Mama!  It's Father Roger!" all through mass. 

The mass was beautiful.  I love the advent colors -- purple with gold.  I love the candles, I love the symbolism, I love the prayers.  Mostly, I love the people at Mass. 

 The Giving Tree was up -- this is our way to provide The Ark with gifts and needed items for the year.  We select an ornament off the tree.  The ornament has a child's age and gender on it, with an item that needs to be purchased.  These kids need toys, but more than that, they need toiletries, clothes, medicine.  What they really need is a safe and loving home, but unfortunately, the Giving Tree isn't much help there.

The Ark is an emergency shelter for kids who have to be removed from their homes.  Usually, they have to be removed because of violence, neglect and abuse.  Frequently children are removed in the dead of night, when drinking and drugs bring out the worst in those who are supposed to protect them.  These kiddos come from all ages, races, religions and income levels.  Most of them come from poverty -- if only because the poor have fewer mechanisms to control the damage done by the violence. 

As soon as mass was over, families descended upon the tree -- taking one, two or three ornaments.  People where waiting four and five deep.  I know many of the families clamoring for the ornaments. When you know people, you learn their struggles.   I saw people who suffered layoffs this year.  People who have suffered miscarriages and other medical emergencies.  People who have several small children at home.  People who are caring for terminally ill parents.  I saw people who struggle with addictions of their own.  I saw single parent families and even a family that lost a child.  Struggling families who couldn't wait to help the kids at The Ark.

We're going to do what we can too.  We'll give.  It will be nothing compared to what we have received.  I am grateful for the chance to attend mass on my own.  More than that, I am grateful for the chance to be a part of this Parish family.