Saturday, February 25, 2012

A Comment on Comments

Dear commenter who wrote:

Mary....this is the first time that I've read your blog & I'm afraid that I was a little offended. You speak about teaching your children about the "true" meaning of Valentine's Day....but then in the same blog use the "F" word. I'm afraid that I just don't get it. I would think that this would be considered in bad taste....especially since you are a business proffessional& refer people to your blog to get to know you better! I've heard good things about you & have looked forward to hearing you speak....but now I've found myself to be extremely disappointed!

You bring up some valid points.


Yet you don't sign your name.

I am pretty sure I have an idea of who you are.  I'm speaking to a group next week, and I suspect I will see you there. 

I promise I will NOT swear during the talk.

That said, this is not my business blog. 

I am a business professional (please note the spelling).  More importantly, I am a mom, a daughter, a wife and a sister.  I am a Catholic. 

And I say fuck all the time.

Is it inconsistent?

I suppose.

I'm not proud of it. 

I'm inconsistent in lots of things. 

I work out like a gladiator but can't bring myself to eat the way I'm supposed to.

I am passionately in love with my husband but get platonic crushes all the time.

I love a sparkling clean house, but can't find the time to clean the shower.

I'm not perfect. 

I'm not trying to be perfect.  I am trying to be excellent.

You may find it hard to believe that saying FUCK is ever a good tool to excellence.

But it is.  It's called comic timing.  "I need those fucking hearts" is funnier than "I need those hearts".  I tried it both ways.

So, you don't think it's funny.  Sorry. 

Wait.  No, I'm not.  You don't have to think it's funny. 

It's enough that I think it's funny. 

And I do.


  1. Although I hate the f word, it's your blog and I defend your right to use it. And, I love reading your blog.

  2. And I love your blog, too. I try to limit my use of cursing, but sometimes you just have to use curse words for comic timing.
    Fuckin' A.
    Keep doing that voodoo that you do. ;-)

  3. I think it's fuckin' hysterical!!!

    To your anonymous commenter I say -
    Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck!

    (I STILL want that T-shirt!)

  4. This is your blog and I love who you are with or without the cussing. You is kind. You is smart and you is fucking important!!! Rachel B

  5. Its your blog, if you want to FUCK every other word go for it! If they don't like it they can kick rocks ;)

  6. I just got a new phone with a talk to text feature. And the third thing I did with it was send my sister a text, "hey I wonder if it knows cuss words? ***k you. I guess it does"

    She texted back "lol."

  7. Yeah, there is nothing I would have changed about your last post. It made me laugh. It is kind of cool to get such an emotionally invested comment like the one above. It makes me want to be more provocative and controversial on my blog. Unfortunately, I am a pretty big square. That is why I live vicariously through your blog.

  8. Mary, this blog is you. It's so utterly and fantastically you that it's one of my all-time favorite blogs to read. I know you because of it. I love you because of it. But it's ALL of you. The awkward and the funny and the sensitive and the insightful. Don't you dare ever change it -- it's your voice and your story. If you're offending people, you're causing reactions in people.

    More specifically: if you're offending people, you're doing it right.

    Good for you for standing up for yourself and your right to say fuck. And that one little fuck made me laugh so RIDICULOUSLY hard that it was totally -- totally worth it. So comedic timing? You nailed it.

    Come to Boston? Or I'll come to Texas? Sounds good.

  9. Also...can I just say you've gotten more hate mail on your Midwestern-born, mother-of-three, Catholic workoutaholic blog than I have on my I-drink-tequila-and-say-fuck-and-live-in-sin-with-my-devilishly-handsome-boyfriend blog? Damn. I need to step up my game.

  10. I don't understand why people get all preachy about stuff like that. It's a blog. If they don't like it, there are plenty of others to read. I love your writing. Keep doing what you do!

  11. I wonder what she's written and put out into the blogosphere for others to comment on. Oh, yeah, NOTHING. Anonymous comments have not guts and don't deserve to be noticed.

    1. You're right -- but I am such a peaople pleaser. It bugs me. It shouldn't, but it does.

      Thanks for the affirmation!

  12. I'm in complete agreement with Nicki - "More specifically: if you're offending people, you're doing it right."

    And I agree about the comedic timing. I need those hearts has ZERO feeling to it. But a well placed F bomb. Oh the places we'll go!

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  14. You know how much I love you and you know how much I say FUCK - sometimes it's just necessary. If they don't like it - fuck 'em!!!


I LOVE to read comments. Seriously. I check them every day. Insecure? Maybe.