Tuesday, July 31, 2012



I'm still fat.

And I'm still cursing a lot so if that bugs you, go back to checking facebook.

Because this is a cursing post.  I'm grumpy.

You've been warned,  so I don't fucking wanna hear it.

OK.  Still fat.

I'm eating clean (ish).  I'm not drinking pop. Or beer.  I'm working out.

Still fat.

Next step:  Portion control.


The fact is, that while I eat very healthy food, I still eat too much of it. 

Like there is such a thing as "too much" quinoa.  Whatevs.

So, I'm googling hints on portion control, because we ALL know this shit ain't gonna happen by itself.

That's when I noticed it.

I mean, I noticed it!

The exclamation point!  At the end of every hint! And it's fucking annoying!

Here is a sample of some of the" hints!" I read today:

1. At work, why not split take out with a buddy? At a restaurant, pack up half of your meal before you even start eating: Voila! You have an instant dinner!

2. Don't be embarrassed about asking for a child's meal. It's really no big deal. I've even got a trick for places that have a "12 and under sign" -- I order it to go and then plop right down in the dining room, eat my meal, and give the toy to a kid sitting nearby!

3. Eat when hungry and stop when satisfied or comfortably full. “Try to gauge when you are 80 percent full and stop there,” says Clifford. “There will be more food at the next meal or snack!

(Source -- just fucking google it.  This is not a term paper & I am not getting paid for this shit.  I didn't WRITE those tips. I admit it.  Good enough?)

I don't object to exclamation points per se.  Hell I TALK in exclamation points!  I write them all the time! I LIKE caps and punctuation for emphasis!

Except when I want facts and not hyperbole. i.e.:  Portion control: step 1: blah, step 2: blah blah, step 3: blah blah blah.

I don't need any cute PUNCTUATION!  I don't want to hear ". . .step 3: blah, blah, blah!" like they just came up with this fucking revelation that no one ever thought of.  Split take out with a buddy?!  I did.  And the fucking carrot cake was so good my BUDDY decided to get a slice of red velvet cake too!

I am ANNOYED! that exercising and eating clean and not drinking pop and doing what I am fucking supposed to be doing is not making me thin!  (that was a "!" for anger, not for cute).

I hoped google would have all the answers.

It doesn't.

I need to weigh and measure my food. 

Try to gauge when you are 80% full. . .. obviously written by someone who has never had a weight problem. If I could do that, dumbass, I wouldn't be fat!  (again, "!" for anger, not cute).

Next step, portion control.  Great.  I am so fucking happy.  Dammit! 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Just Because I Know You Want to See Him Again

Photo Used Without Permission.  Totally Stolen. 

Here is another pic of Vic.  And my other handsome trainer, Gabe.

Gabe is also handsome, right?  But more in a happily-married-to-a-gorgeous-woman-father-of-two kinda way.

I really love both of these guys.

And based on the last post's comments?  You also love to look at Vic.

Your Welcome!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Starting Over

Remember how in 2011 I ran one 5K every single month?

Remember how proud I was that I accomplished that goal?

I haven't run a 5K since December 2011.

Because I am a lazy ass.

Actually, it's not because I'm lazy.  I'm actually a pretty hard worker.  It's just that this year, running wasn't a goal.

So it didn't happen.

In all fairness, I DID run half a half marathon (6.5 miles) in January.  So that can kinda count for 2 5Ks, right?  But March, April, May, June, I didn't do anything. 

I miss doing 5Ks.  I miss the people.  I miss the buzz.  I miss the feeling of accomplishment. 

I don't miss the owie sore muscles & knees, but Gabe does a pretty good job of making me owie during our regular workouts.

Also, I miss Vic.  Vic the Basterd.

I work out with Gabe now.  Which I LOVE.  But Vic and Gabe are usually not in the same place, so while I used to miss Gabe, now I miss Vic. 

I can't wait to see him tomorrow!

He's going to see me, then he's gonna give me a hug.  Then he's gonna say "Move your ass". 

I'm gonna say "But I haven't run in a LONG time".

He's gonna say "Bullshit.  No excuses." See?  Basterd.

Then I'm gonna run as fast as I can for about 50 minutes.  Old people and toddlers are going to leave me in their wakes.  But when I finish the race, my friends will be there shouting for me. 

Even Vic.

Happy Birthday ya Basterd!  I love you!

Saturday, July 14, 2012


Last week, I blogged about how brave my friend Letty is for taking her top off during a boiling hot workout.

This week we moved boot camp away from the water.  We worked out at a park on the base of a bluff.  There was lots more shade.  And lots more hills. 

Letty was there.  And her friend Melinda.  And Albert, Gabe's cousin.  And me.

And Gabe, of course.

Gabe -- always the silent assassin -- quietly made us run up hills, then do push ups, then sprint, then do lunges, then sprint some more. . the usual. 

He made us do wall sits.  Here are me & Melinda doing wall sits:

Look Ma!  No chairs!

Doesn't it look like we're just hanging out?  Look closer.

Notice the red color of my face?  See how shiny I am?  That's SWEAT.  If you look really close, you will notice the stringy wet hair surrounding my face.  And the soaked tee shirt.  This was about 10 minutes into our workout.

Shortly after this was taken, Letty took her top off again.  Because it was HOT.  Not only did she take her top off, she was wearing an adorable matching baby blue sports bra-skort combo.

In other words? She took her top off and looked good in it.

She also looked a lot cooler.

So. . .. .I did it too.

I took my top off.


In front of BOYS.

Boys I didn't give birth to.

And it was cooler.  I felt lovely & light.  My midriff has never been out in public before.  It's not red like my face, it's pink.  Having my top off felt wonderful.

And self conscious. 

It probably improved my form because I was sucking my gut in the whole time.  Not that anyone could tell, but I was.

I am not going to take my top off at every workout.  But when it's REALLY hot?  I'll get some matching outfits.

I didn't actually let Gabe take my pic, but this gives you an idea.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

True Guts. . .

This morning I went to Bootcamp.

I KNEW it was gonna be unbearably hot.  I knew there wasn't a breath of wind out.  I knew that I would be miserable within 5 minutes.

So I did something I considered to be very brave:

I wore a sleeveless top.


I wear this top all the time.  Just never in public.  It's really perfect for working out -- the arms are completely free, and the neckline swoops low enough that it doesn't choke you as you are running.

It's just that, I am still not comfortable enough with my upper arms to bare them in public. 

They aren't bad, really.  If I flex, the upper third looks really cut. 

The lower two-thirds are still . . . .um. . . snuggly. 

But I figured that it was so hot out, and I would be with friends anyway, who cares if my snuggly arms jiggle jaggle all over the place.

So I did it.

And BOY am I glad I did. 

HOT.  Hothothothothothothot.  HOT.  And Sweaty?  Let me tell you, after running our laps, doing our burpees, squatting our squats, running more laps. . .I was dripping like . . .something that drips a lot.  (can't think of anything witty here.  Sorry)

ALL of the other girls there were also sleeveless.  Lori was there, Amy, Michelle, Letty, Chris, and some new friends who I forget their names.  (Sorry).  No boys were brave enough to face Gabe on a hot Saturday morning.  I will excuse Omar because I know he's in San Antonio running a 10K, but all you other guys?  You are a bunch of that bad word that used to mean kitten. 

Us girls were awesome.  Sweaty.  But AWESOME.  Michelle was out until 2 AM last night, and she still made it.  (She may or may not have still been drunk)..  Two of the girls were awesomer than awesome. 

The first girl who just HUMBLED the rest of us was Lori.  Lori ran her laps & when it was time to do the knees-to-your-chest 30 times thing, she stepped on the step funny & broke her foot.  She said OW, took her shoe off, put some ice on it, then WORKED OUT FOR THE REST OF THE HOUR.
She went to get it X-Rayed afterwards, and yep.  Broken. 

The second awesome of the awesome was Letty. 

Here's the thing about Letty.  Letty inspires just because of the way she busts her ass.  She's lost about 30 lbs (or more) this year, and she is WELL on her way to losing more.  I need to wake up my inner Letty and get back on the stick. 

Letty had no problem with showing up in a sleeveless top, even though her arms aren't that much smaller than mine.  So there's that.  But the thing that makes Letty my absolute hero is that Letty got really hot, so she TOOK HER TOP OFF!

A few months ago, I wrote about my "courage" in taking my top off for about 30 seconds.

Letty worked out in a sports bra for the whole hour.

And she ROCKED it.

I love you Letty.  You have guts!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Dawn at the Seashore

My friends are AWESOME.

My alarm went off at . .  .OMG 5:30 in the morning. 

At 5:40, I got a text from Roland telling me to get up.  Then from Patricia telling me she & Ian were almost ready to go. 

I roused the kids, brushed my teeth and tried in vain to get Greg out of bed. 

He missed it. 

A quick stop at Starbucks for coffee & banana bread (shaddap).

Then we headed to the ocean.

There were probably 300 people there.  Watching the turtles was awesome. Seeing my friends was awesomer. I saw my friend Amanda and her husband Josh. Saw Melissa & Ralph. I saw Tony. Remember Tony? I saw Nelda and Christie and Roland.  Roland brought Minnie and Melissa.  Saw Susan.  Saw Patricia and her precious Ian (who also happens to be Paulie's bff!).    

I didn't see Dee, or Sandra, or Jessica, but I know they were there. 

12 turtle babies were released.

Apparently there are usually 75-100 hatchlings at a release, but apparently turtles, like Greg, prefer to sleep in on the 4th of July.

I haven't downloaded my photos yet, but my friend Josh did. 

So I stole 'em!

All photos courtesy of Josh Brown

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


I count on you guys for accountability.

Whether you know it or not, you have kept me accountable for my workouts.

You kept me accountable for running one 5K per month last year.

You keep me accountable on clean eating.

You keep me from drinking pop.

You even keep me from breaking a rule in public restrooms.

I need you to keep me accountable tomorrow.

I need to get my ass out of bed.  REALLY EARLY.

It's for a really great reason.  I will be really glad that I got up REALLY EARLY.

I am going to release turtles.

Every time my kids hear "Releasing the Turtles" they giggle.  Because that's what they say when they have to poop.  Their dad started it. 

Tomorrow at 6:45 AM,Kemp's Ridley turtle hatchlings will be released at the Padre Island National Seashore.  These events are open to the public.  According to posts I've read on Facebook, attending a hatchling release is one of the coolest things ever

But it's at 6:45 in the morning.  And it's about 30 minutes away, so we're talking a 5:30 am wake up call. 

I hate waking up at 5:30.

I hate waking up at 7:30 if you wanna know the truth.

That's why I need you.

Keep me accountable, willya?

Will post my own photo of amazing turtles.  After my nap.