Tuesday, January 31, 2012

If Jillian Can Do It. . .

When you think of Jillian Michaels, I'm betting the image that comes to mind is one of her dressed something like this:

Put a blouse on, wouldja?

You know that top is really just a sports bra, right?

When you hear the name Mia Hamm, doesn't this inspiring image come to mind?

Mia is SO MUCH COOLER than Jillian

While one of these women is an inspiring athlete and the other is a horsefaced bully, both are wearing sports bras.  Without a top.

I point this out to prove precedence.

It's not that I wear sports bras as a top.  Usually.

There is that one time -- days after my second child was born -- I spent10 minutes chatting with a visitor before noticing that I had forgotten to put a blouse on.   Fortunately, my visitor was the mother of 3 and she totally understood.

But as a rule, I wear a tee shirt over my sports bra. 

Honestly, I hope Jillian wears a tee when she works out.  Your abs might be great, Horseface, but that doesn't mean other people in the gym care to come in contact with your back sweat.

But sports bras are SPORTS bras.  Not sports BRAs. 

So when I finished my 10K on January 7th, and was soaking wet with sweat, and didn't want to walk ALL THE WAY to the ladies room to change into a dry shirt, I felt comfortable doing a quick switch in the lobby of the Ortiz Center.

No one else was there.

Except Mary.  And Megan.  And Mary.  And Dee.  And Amy.  But only girls.  Girls don't care.

Ok. .. one young man did happen to walk by, but I almost had the other shirt on and I am sure he didn't see me without a top.  He was looking very intently at the floor.  For some reason.

Today I had to rush to class after my workout.

It was all girls.  Mary.  And Laurie.  And Biby.  And Clarissa.

So I just changed my top real quick.

Oh yeah -- and Victor. 

But I made him turn around. 

It's not like I would change my top in front of any of the guys I usually work out with.  Except Victor -- he's totally safe.  And Omar.  Probably Lee.  Maybe Scott. 

But not Gabe, Robert, Kirby or Bill.  Especially not Bill. 

So yes, for a few seconds Vic saw my sports bra.  The thing is, it's a SPORTS bra.

And it's not like I was wearing it as a top.

Friday, January 27, 2012


Found this in my e-mail.  I sent it to a well meaning friend a few months ago:

I am learning, that as a writer, I have to use my own voice.

Sometimes I use blue language. I use it on facebook, on my blog and in real life.

Not everyone cares for it.

This blog is my story. My perspective. My opinions.

If my language offends you, then I encourage you to read other writers.  There are many out there.  Good writers who share your values, your point of view.

If you are going to continue reading, I ask that you respect my voice.

Obviously, my well meaning friend recommended that I stop swearing so much.

Obviously, I didn't.

Monday, January 23, 2012

To the Casual Observer. . .

Because Vic and Gabe are SO AWESOME at what they do, V-Fit expanded to 2 locations. 

I love working out there, but it's SO far away, so I don't go very often.

It's actually not that far away.  Those of you who live in cities like Boston (hi Nicki!!!!), or LA (Hi Annabelle M!), or Chicago (Hi David!) would make fun of me if you saw how easy the commute actually is. 

The thing is, my whole life is within five miles from my house.  Church, work, school (mine & kids'), and of course V-Fit.  All a quick few minutes from the house.

The Island location, on the other hand, is 15 miles away from my house.  That's FAR.

But Gabe is there, so it's WORTH IT.

The Island is a full service gym, not just a studio like in town.  It's really nice -- all new equipment, lots of room, and a special room with this awesome flooring that makes doing suicides suck way less than they suck in town.

Because it's full service, lots of people go there who aren't there for personal training.  They go to do the bikes, or the treadmill, or whatever self-disciplined people do at gyms. 

I lack discipline, so I need Gabe to tell me what to do and when to do it.

The self-motivated people watch Gabe put me through my paces.  I watch them watch Gabe put me through my paces.  I watch their eyes get bigger and bigger as they see what he has me do.  I can see the wheels turning in their heads . . . wondering why Gabe is torturing the chubby pink lady.  The wonder if they should call an ambulance, or maybe the police.

They get scared, thinking that what will Gabe do if THEY sign up for personal training.  Will he make them do 25 pushups from their toes?  Will he make them run suicides after each set?   What about those burpees?

I want to reassure them, to tell them how far I've come.  I want to let them know that I enjoy working out with Gabe and that I love how I feel afterwards.

At the studio, everyone knows me.  They know my story and they know what I can do.

But to a casual observer . . .

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Mornings

Sunday is family time for us.

If #1 son serves mass, then he & I get up early so we can make it there before 8am.

If he's NOT serving mass, then I sleep. 

I love Sunday morning sleep. 

I will usually sleep until 9:30 or so.  Then I will sip coffee and get ready to go to mass at 10:30.  Or 12:15.  Depends.  Sometimes I am even so lazy that I wait to go to the 6PM mass.

I love being Catholic.  What other tribe gives you so many scheduling options?

THIS morning I had other plans.


I was gonna go out to the Island and do a Mimosa Run.  (For those of you not from South Texas -- HI NICKI! -- North Padre Island is part of the Corpus Christi city limits.  We have to cross a bridge to get there.  Vic has a new facility there)

V-Fit put on a Mimosa Fun Run this morning. 

I love fun runs!  They are so fun!

This time we had a choice of running 5 miles or 10 miles. (MILES?  WTF?  What happened to 5Ks?).  The run started at 7:15.  AM.  On a Sunday.

I had every intention of participating.  After all, I ran over 6 miles just 2 short weeks ago.

I planned to get up at 6am, on a Sunday, head to the Island, run 5 miles, be done by 10am, go home, take a shower and get to mass by 12:15.  Fun!

That was the plan.

Unfortunately. . .

I didn't get up at 6.  I didn't get up at 6:30.  I wasn't awake by 7.  I didn't get up until almost 10am. 

I hope there are enough Mimosas at that fun run to make Vic & Gabe forget that I wasn't there. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

My Date

We got to go on a date tonight! 

A real date.  No kids.  No other couples.  Just us.

Dinner & a movie.

It was the kind of movie that we love.

You might love it too.

Or, you will think it's stupid.

If you liked Cinema Paradiso, Sunset Boulevard, Life is Beautiful, Singing in the Rain, O Brother Where Art Thou, Rushmore and Barton Fink; then you will love this movie.

If you lean more towards Gladiator, Far & Away, You've Got Mail, Pirates of the Caribbean (I), Ghost Busters, and any of the National Lampoons; then you will hate it.

Some of us are Group A kind of people.  Some of us are Group B.  Some of us, like Greg & I, like A and B.

But if you are a Group B only, you won't like The Artist. 

But we LOVED IT!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Eva's Final Gifts

This was the saddest week I've had in like. . . .ever.

The funeral is over, the family is trying to get back to a routine, and Facebook is still ringing with "Eva" memories.

I wasn't going to blog about it anymore.  You've all been with me, and I know it makes you sad too.  It's time for me to be funny again.

But I just had to do ONE MORE.

As you know, "Eva" and I have been friends since 2000. 

She's given me many gifts -- a Diaper Genie (that we used for 2 children), a decent maternity skirt, a Christmas ornament, and some pretty stationary.  Mostly, she's given me the gift of honesty, which I wrote about here and here.  (In the second one, I used "Eva's" real name.  Because it was years ago.  Her real name is Erika. I think she's OK that I tell you that now)

As she fought her illness, she gave us all the gift of perspective, because every post she put on Facebook was an affirming post.  EVERY ONE. 

And, in the end, she gave me something I will cherish forever.

New friends.

The thing about Erika is that she has a million friends.  Maybe a million and 10.  Everybody loves her.  I'm not just saying that because she's gone. . . everyone does love her.  The Corpus Christi Cathedral was PACKED for 2 days to honor this woman and her family. 

Of all the people she loves, it's always been obvious who she loves the most:  Todd, her husband, and her kiddos.  OK - that's a given.  And to see Todd so strong and tall (and handsome -- seriously.  Erika married a hottie) -- my heart swelled in gratitude that such a great man was by her side.

But she also loves -- and LIKES -- her family.  Her sister and her Mom were her very best friends.  She loved and admired her Dad and was so proud to work in the family business.  I always felt like I knew Leslie because even though she lives in another city, Erika was always talking about Leslie this and Leslie that.  She was so proud of her little sister. 

I do know her mom and her dad, and I can totally understand why they are so close. 

I am already friends with her cousin Roland.  He and I were in leadership together and he is one of those wonderful guys that you put on your Men-I-Would-Marry-If-I-Weren't-Already-Married list.  (What?  Don't you have one of those lists??)

Roland kept me abreast of everything that was going on, and I took it upon myself to tell everyone else.

Erika and I have some friends in common, and keeping the prayer vigil made us closer.  Sonja, Carmen, Lisa, Robbie -- I love you guys!  I'm sorry it took THIS to reconnect.  I appreciate that we were together in our grief.

Through the dark days, I realized that Erika and I had some other friends in common.  Amy, Linda, Emily. . . now we're closer because we connected through Erika.

And at the end, we came together with some other wonderful people.  Leslie -- the sister Erika adored.  Even though her grief was incredible, she made sure to comfort me.  I am inspired by how selfless this family is.  Melissa, Rene, and all the cousins who allowed me to enter in the circle of their grief.  To cry with them, the laugh with them -- it's a blessing I won't forget.  I've even made "Facebook Friends" with some people I haven't yet met, but because we both loved Erika, we connected. 

In the end, Erika -- "Eva" -- gave me new friends.

Thanks Erika.  I love you!

See how beautiful???? 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Ten

I guess it's time to talk about the 10K I did on Saturday.

It actually wasn't a 10 K, it was half of a half marathon.

A half marathon is 13.1094 miles.  I ran half of that:  6.5547 miles.

A 10K is only 6.2 miles.

I ran an extra 0.3547 miles.  That's way more.

When I ran my first 5K, this really hot guy named Tim helped me run the last quarter mile.  Tim looks like a much fitter, much taller, and much better looking Seth Green. 

Tim was there to cheer me on during my first 10K.  Thank you, Tim!

I remember that my first 5K I was huffing and puffing.  My legs were sore.  I was bright red. 

The 10K is pretty much the same, except I wasn't huffing and puffing.  My heart and lungs are strong now -- "running" for 2 hours doesn't kill me.  I can talk and joke with people along the way. 

My legs, on the other hand. . .er. .foot, are a different story.  I am still 100 lbs overweight and my knees don't like it.  Screw you, knees, I'm still doing this.

When I did the 5K, I was amazed at how incredibly affirming and supportive people are.  When I finished the 10K, my friends made an archway for me to run through. 

You guys are the best.

I did this for you, "Eva" -- I miss you sister!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

For Eva

In a day or two I will write about my first 10K.

I finished it.  Yeay.

I dedicated it to my friend "Eva", who has been going through hell. 

Every step I took I thought of her fighting to breathe.

Every little pain I thought of the skin rash that started this whole nightmare.

When I finished, I texted her cousin -- who is another incredible friend and the one who has been keeping me up to date.

He texted back.

She went to Heaven this morning about 11 am.

Praise God.  She is where she belongs. 

Thank you "Eva" - for inspiring me to do something I couldn't have done otherwise.  I love you sister.

Friday, January 6, 2012


Tomorrow is my first run of the year.

It's also my first 10K.

I am dedicating it to "Eva" who is still struggling, still on a ventilator and still fighting hard.

"Eva" - we love you.  SO much. 

Tomorrow is for you.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Two Surprising Facts About Me

I am going to share two facts about myself that seem to surprise people:

1. I don't drink alcohol
2. I'm not into "adult" items.

For some reason, both these facts seem to surprise the hell out of people.

I get the booze confusion.  I used to drink, and there are lots of hysterical stories about my antics.  Like the time I was on a crowded dance floor at the Company Christmas Party and decided it would be fun to pull my dress over my head.  That was in 1996 and they are STILL talking about it. 

I started drinking when I was about 15.  I stopped drinking when I had kids.  After #2 was born, I started having massive anxiety attacks.  They put me on meds and I am afraid to mix them with alcohol.  Also, alcoholism runs in my family and I choose not to expose my children to an alcoholic mom.  Besides, after 20+ years of drinking, what new experiences are there?  Everybody's already seen my underwear.

I am not bothered to be around other people who drink.  If anything, I am surprised at how much fun I still have at parties.  I'm happy to be the designated driver.

As far as not being into ahem. . . "adult" items:  I guess I deserve your skepticism. 

I swear a lot.  I am the queen of the double entendre.  I swoon over dreamy men. I flirt with priests.  I know some dirty jokes.  Lots of 'em.  If you ask me the secret to a happy marriage, I will gargle.

But show me a dirty picture and I will cover my eyes. 

If there is a stripper at a bachelorette party, I will leave. 

The only toys at my house are the ones my kids play with.

It's just not my thing.

Maybe if I started drinking again. . . .


Monday, January 2, 2012

Remember This?

"By 2/1/12, I will be down to at least 229 by working out 5 or more times a week and eating at least 7 servings of fruits and vegetables a day."

Posted on 11/19/11.

Ahem.  Yeah.  About that. . ..

I didn't quite make the progress I hoped.

In November, I squeaked by losing one more lb to a new low of 243.  Yahfuckinghoo.

I got on the scale today, and. . . .

I gained 2 lbs. 

I should say I gained AT LEAST 2 lbs, because I stepped on the scale after Vic's 2012 Inaugural Bootcamp which made me sweat the equivalent of an Olympic swimming pool.

I'm not surprised. 

I feel like I have rug burn on my ass from December's backslide. 

I finished the year at a party, where I enjoyed smokies wrapped in biscuit dough, creamy potatoes spiked with bacon and cheese, caramel popcorn, a few more smokies, a bite of salad and a cupcake. 

The night before, we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner. .  .pancakes, eggs, pancakes and a bite of chicken fried steak.

It's not that gaining 2 lbs over Christmas and new years is a big deal.  It's not.

It's just that I have spent the last year and a half doing good things for my health, and then rushing to the computer so I can brag about it like a 2 year old who made her first poo-poo in the potty.

I swear I tried to think of a better analogy.

Anyway, you guys are all VERY supportive of me, so I feel I need to be accountable to you.

New Year, new start.

I will not be derailed by 2 stupid lbs.

Remember that I said that.  'Kay?