Thursday, February 9, 2012

Day 3

And I am about to commit murder.

I gave up pop.

I drank my last Coke Zero on Monday evening.

I hid it in my bedroom so none of my kids could mooch any.

It was my last can of pop and I was NOT going to share.

I didn't give up caffeine.  I gave up pop.  Not just for lent.  I gave it up For Evah.

I don't drink pop for the caffeine.  I drink it for that fizzy burn that quiets some secret need like a forbidden lover.

I have a lifelong relationship with pop.  I started drinking diet pop when I was about 5.  That's when diet pop first began to emerge.  My mother assumed diet pop was good for us, as it didn't have any sugar.  The ads for diet pop showed beautiful girls in bathing suits enjoying a guilt-free treat.

Tab.  My first love.  One of the biggest treats we could have as kids was to drink a WHOLE BOTTLE OF POP.  That's 16 ounces.  In a glass bottle.  With saccharine.  In those days, the Coca-cola company collected empty bottles, sterilized them, then refilled them with the nectar of the gods.

By high school, I drank Tab out of a can.  My friend Dana and I would each have a can of Tab and a diet pill for lunch. Those were the days.

In College, I loved Diet Pepsi.  Then I moved to Diet Coke.  A few years ago, I found Coke Zero. 

I found my soul mate. 

Or so I thought.

I knew pop wasn't good for me.  I knew that the phosphorous was slowly dissolving my teeth and bones.  I knew that the artificial sweetener was fucking with my neurons and my metabolism.

I didn't care.  It had zero calories.

Why did I give it up?

I gave it up because we have 2 weeks left in the Tri-Mary Challenge, and I have been stuck on 244 like glue.

I need to get over this plateau.

What happens once the challenge is over (and another Mary wins)?

I'm not going back.  I know pop is bad for me.  It's an abusive relationship.  And I have to end it.

Me & pop are over.  No diet coke.  No regular coke.  No Sprite, Diet 7Up, no Diet Rite, no Coke Zero.  Nothing.

No "occasional" treat.  No "only on weekends".  No walking slowly down the pop aisle, no googling it, no stalking mutual friends on Facebook.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't cheat on my husband. Now that pop is gone, what vices are left to me?

I guess I still have swearing. 

Fuckin' A!


  1. I miss you Mary. You are just incredible. Don't give up swearing. There are those of us who just need to say those naughty words. Keep me posted when you come up for a visit. ~Fran

  2. The thing I like best about this post is knowing there's one less person in the world drinking up all my Coke Zero. I FULLY SUPPORT your endeavor & wish you luck!

  3. It's been almost 6 years since I gave up my constantly present Diet Coke. If I did it, you can do it. May I suggest Diet Raspberry Iced Tea from Sonic or Diet Lemonade from Chick Fil-A or Passion Iced Tea from Starbucks. Or you could just go with coffee, no fizz but a nice buzz.

  4. Hilarious.
    You can totally do it!!!!!!!!!!!

    Now, that said, I'm sorry, Mary but reading this post really made me want a soda. (Since my family moved to Texas when I was very young, I switched from "pop" to "soda".) See, I don't drink, smoke, cheat, or swear(mostly true), so I really can't afford to give up the sodas.

    I believe you will achieve your goals! Keep it up!

  5. You can definitely do it! I gave up pop, coffee and all caffeinated drinks 4 years ago and haven't gone back! The first couple weeks are the hardest.


    Excuse me. A fucking good role model.

  7. LOL - you can do it! I don't drink soda, but would die if I had to give up my sweet tea from Chick-fil-A....!!!

  8. Good for you, darlin'! I was smiling from the first line at the mention of "pop". It brought back nice memories of western Pennsylvania since it's "soda" in south Jersey/Philly.

  9. I always enjoy your comments on The Bitchy Waiter, and it suddenly occurred to me to stalk you to your blog. Love your writing, and I'm following.


  10. Club soda with a half of lime squeezed in. It is bubbly water so it will fulfill that "that fizzy burn" and darn it. It is water.


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