Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Classy & Fabulous

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous."
-- Coco Chanel

One of the greatest things about the Obesity Epidemic we have in the U.S. is that finally -- finally -- fashion is catching up with us. I have long held the position that if a size 6 wouldn't wear it, I won't wear it.

Once -- not too long ago -- I needed a basic tank to wear under a blouse. Basic. No lace. No sequins. No embroidery. (Tell me again why clothing manufacturers think that anyone over a size 12 wants to look like a Persian rug?). I truly didn't care to schlep all the way to the mall. So I popped into a boutique around the corner.

First shop:

"Do you carry plus sizes?"
"Sorry! No, we don't." (Then I can't spend my $$$ here.)

Next shop:

"Do you carry plus sizes?"
"We carry them through our catalogue!" (That helps me not at all.)

Next shop:

"Do you carry plus sizes?"
"No, dear. We only go up to size 12"
"Really? Then where do you buy your clothes, Dear?" (Bitch, if you want to get in a pissing contest with me, then you'd better drink more Evian.)

Last shop:

(Slightly desperate tone) "Do you carry plus sizes?"
"Not officially, but what do you need? I am sure we can find something to fit you!"

And THAT is why I love Chico's.

Thanks to Talbot's Woman, Macy's Woman, Cato's and the Internet, I can generally find cute size 24 clothes. Now, if Maternity Wear manufacturers would get on the bandwagon.

Why is it that they make maternity clothes for 14 year olds, but not for plus sizes?? Because the manufactures think we don't do it.

Well we do. I did it at least 3 times. (hey -- my mom reads this blog). And unlike 14 year olds, many of us are actually prepared to have children, and have set aside money to pay for things like maternity clothes. And, unlike 14 year olds, many of us have jobs. In offices. We need work clothes. (When I was expecting my second son all I could find was these floaty hippy-dippy blouses. Cute, but not very corporate). I'm hoping and praying with all my size 24 heart that I won't have to shop for maternity clothes again. I'm just saying.

Maternity aside, some manufacturers still have not seen the light. Why on earth would somthing like this be for sale in this day & age?

Don't tell me it's for comfort. That what sweatpants are for. These dresses say "Paris Schmaris -- I get my fashion inspiration from Samoa!"

Of course, it is possible to go too far the other way. As evidenced by this number from Ruby Rox at Macy's:

I swear I wore this dress in 1989 at a formal on Catalina Island. I was 23. I was a size 14, not a 24. Somebody threw up all over it (might have been me) and it was hell getting the puke out of all those pouffs.

But these dresses. . . ..

Cute. And Size 24. (Alfani, Michael Kors and DKNYC all at Macy's!)

Classy and Fabulous.


  1. Maybe I should let you do my shopping! Love the dresses from Macy's. I will be driving over there, uh, NOW! You should check out the plus sizes at Forever 21. They have really cute stuff too.

  2. (Bitch, if you want to get in a pissing contest with me, then you'd better drink more Evian.)

    Damn, that made me laugh so hard I nearly gagged on my own saliva.


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