Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Well Meaning People Who Piss Me Off. . .

I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it does.

I mean RANKLES. Annoys. Irritates. Bothers. Frustrates. Grates, peeves and vexes.

A few times a year, I decide enough is enough and I work on my fitness. I vow to eat better, exercise more and embrace a healthier lifestyle. My goal is health, you understand. If I am a few dress sizes smaller, so be it.

Fitness shows. It shows in the way your clothes fit. It shows in what you eat & drink. It shows in how you feel. It shows.

And when people compliment me on it, I want to scream.


"Oh my God you are getting so skinny!" (I am a size twenty-fucking-two. On what universe is that skinny?)

"You look great! Keep it up!" (Keep it up? If you like someones hair color, would you tell them to keep it up? "Love the blonde, Carmen! Keep it up girl! Don't let those roots creep back down! Get yourself to the stylist! And don't forget to condition!!" Seriously? Seriously. Pisses me off.)

"You are so good!" ( Well, fuck you very much. Know what? Fitness is not a moral issue. I am no better than I was 10 lbs ago. Mother Teresa was good. I'm just doing my best.)

And then there are the affiliators. These are the people who want to make sure you know that they understand. They've been there. Unless you've lived a good part of your life as a size 20 or larger? You haven't been here. Affiliators say shit like this:

"I just lost 20 lbs -- I was disgusting!" ( Pedophiles are disgusting. Fat people are not.)

"What worked for me was I just cut my fruit up as soon as I came home from the grocery store & put it in the fridge, so my snack was all ready." (The person who makes this comment is always someone who went from a size 6 to a size 4. Always. No wonder I am a size 24. My fucking fruit isn't cut up.)

"If I need to lose a few lbs, I just don't eat lunch for a few days." (That's my husband. He's a man. He's Japanese -- well, technically, he's Okinawan -- I mean ethnically he's Okinawan because he was born in California. But back to the point. Japanese-Okinawan MEN do not have weight problems so shuthefuckup.)

I guess what I am trying to say is: I am going to be exercising. I am modifying my food choices. I am going to look different. If you like it, tell me I look fabulous.

Then shut up.


  1. Those are just beyond funny!!!! I laughed so hard it hurt!!!!! :)

  2. This is good to hear that now you are doing daily work out and controlling your obesity.. so you have given us a nice lesson to learn about are health that how to stay fit.. great job...

  3. ummmm. . .thanks???

    AR - did you read the post? 'Cause I know you mean well, but that kinda pisses me off.

  4. I totally agree! And my sides now hurt too. LOL!

  5. Mary you are classy and fabulous no matter what your work out regime. I always knew that you were funny as shit too, so now the rest of the world will know. WAY TO GO sister.

  6. I laughed soo hard! Thank you! And I'm totally going to go cut up my fruit now... =-)

  7. I Googled "well meaning people piss me off" and found your blog. Thanks for the laugh. I can relate. Isn't it amazing that cutting up fruit can do so much, somehow I manage to eat cake just fine without it being precut. I'm on a bit of a tear at the moment, feeling particularly peeved with well meaning people, as I'm sure you could have guessed by my Google search.


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