Saturday, July 24, 2010

Madison Avenue, here I come. . .

Ok -- I have an idea, and I need to know what you think.

Sometimes I like to think of new applications for existing products. For example: Depends. Yes, Depends. The adult diapers.

For a long time, I’ve thought that if Depends had a product geared towards professionals, they would make a killing. They could call it Depends Office. Here’s how I envision the commercial:

Scene - a hectic office, people hurrying around looking harried. Zoom in on boss surrounded by panicked lackeys.

BOSS: “We must get that report to the board TODAY or the whole project could be delayed”

LACKEY 1: “Sir, it’s impossible, we just found out about it yesterday!”

LACKEY 2: “Maybe if you called them you could buy us some time!”

Enter a calm collected professionally dressed woman carrying a folder.

WOMAN: “Here’s the report. I had it formulated on this thumb drive for you as well.”

Boss and lackeys look at woman dumbfounded

BOSS: “How did you get it done so quickly?”

WOMAN: “I just worked all night”

Woman turns to the camera and says in a whisper “With a little help from Depends Office! Thanks Depends!”


Great idea, right? But that’s not the one I wanted to tell you about.

I got the idea for my NEW application when I was doing my workouts this week. This week my workouts were all plenty intense, because I was STUPID enough to post on here that I was getting used to them & they are easier. There was NOTHING easy about my workouts this week. NOTHING!

This week I worked out with Ricky helping me. Ricky is a nice young man who works for Vic. He looks like a fitter version of Leonardo DiCaprio. I think he’s somewhere between 19-23 years old, and he treats me with the same courtesy he would use towards his mother’s old high school chums. (Except he probably never hands one of his Mom's friends a 6 lb ball and tells her to squat. One Hundred and FIFTY times.)

As I am working out next to this handsome, polite young man, I look in the mirror (which are all over that place -- I’m hoping they are there so we can ensure our form is correct. Because otherwise? This place needs an HGTV intervention). (I'm going to pay for that crack next week, You watch!)

In the mirror I can’t help but notice that the more I do my exercises, the more soaking wet with sweat I become. About half way through it looks like someone has poured water down my shirt and I seem to have wet my pants.

The damp t-shirt I can live with, but the peed pants? Next to Ricky DiCaprio? If I wasn’t already so red from all the physical exertion, I would have blushed.

So THAT’S when I came up with my great marketing idea!

Depends Active!

Here’s the ad:

Scene: A busy, tastefully decorated fitness studio with lots of red faced sweaty people.

Camera zooms to two women working out. Both are obviously working hard, but one looks more refreshed than the other.

LINDA: “Leonardo sure has us on a tough circuit today, Amy!”

AMY: “I know, Linda! We will be ready for that marathon in no time!”

LINDA: “I know you will be! I’m just ready for a shower!”

AMY: “ No time for that today, Linda. I have to pick up the kids, then run Don’s clothes to the cleaners, then head to the grocery store before I can even THINK of a nice hot shower!”

LINDA: “You’re lucky -- you still look so fresh!”

AMY: “It’s not me, Linda. It’s Depends Active!”

LINDA: “Depends Active?”

Scene: locker room, where Linda & Amy have towels around their necks.

AMY: “Linda, just put on a pair of Depends Active before your next workout, and you’ll be ready to pick the kids up from soccer practice and then stop at the market before you go home. I never workout without Depends Active!”

Scene: back at the fitness studio. Linda & Amy are wearing different workout outfits.

LINDA: “Amy! Thanks for the tip about Depends Active! After my workout today, I am heading straight to the OB/GYN for my annual!”

AMY & LINDA together: “Thanks Depends Active!”


Great idea, right? Right? Guys? Anyone?

1 comment:

  1. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

    I LOVE it!... I wouldn't BUY it, but I LOVE it!


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