Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Just Not Ready Yet. . .

Dear Coke Zero --

About getting together on Easter -- I just can't.

I know it's been 2 months already.  But it's too soon.

You ask WHY I won't just be seen with you socially.  Well, my friends say that you aren't good for me.  You cause bloating and sugar cravings and weak bones.  I didn't want to hear it either, but there you go.

The sugar cravings are too your fault.

OK, so they haven't gone away in 2 months.  That is completely beside the point. 

It's not that I don't still love you.  Want you.  Crave you.  I do.  We both know it.

That's why I can't be with you at Easter.  I know everyone else will be around.  But you know what will happen.  It will start out casual, but before you know it, you will be in my mouth and. . . .

STOP.  I am NOT having this conversation with you.

Listen.  If at six months I haven't seen the changes I need, I'll consider coming back to you.

But until then I just can't see you.

Please stop calling out to me when I see you in public. It's embarrassing.

Respect me, OK?

Love

Fondly,

Mary

3 comments:

  1. Bloating, sugar cravings, and weak bones!?
    Oh, my goodne....ohhh, crap!!!
    I just snapped my femur.
    Ow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hysterical! I'm taking out Coke and replacing it with candy, sugar, potatoes, breads, etc. you get the point....help!

    ReplyDelete

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