Saturday, March 31, 2012


Dear Ladies --

Isn't it cool that this bathroom is so High Tech?

Isn't it awesome that you don't have to touch anything?

Were you born in a fucking BARN?

I've covered modern bathroom etiquette before.

Frankly, I am surprised that you have to be told.  This is the kind of thing we moms usually cover with our kids.  Since this building rarely has children in it, I KNOW these issues are not the result of poorly supervised toddlers. 

I might even excuse men.  Because men are. . .well, they're men.  They SHOULD know better, but sometimes they are just clueless.  (Sorry to my men friends.  But you know it's true.)

These problems are not the result children.  It's not a man's fault.  I can't believe it, but these problems are caused by GROWN WOMEN.

Lesson 1:

It's great that the soap dispenses automatically.  You need to wait for the WHOLE squirt.  Don't let it squirt all over the counter without wiping it up.  You know better.

Lesson 2:

Paper Towels.  Yes, they self dispense.  But they do NOT throw themselves away.  If you accidentally drop it, PICK IT UP and throw it in the bin.

I get that sometimes the bin is full.  (I work in this building.  The bin is rarely full.)  If the bin IS full, push down a little so your towel stays.  If that's too gross for you, TAKE THE TOWEL WITH you and throw it away in another bin. 


Self flushing toilets are cool.  They are also sporadic.


I don't care to see your . . . um. . .leavings when I use the facilities.  Especially during your "special time".  GROSS.

Do I really have to tell you this? 

Yes, we have a custodian. 

Allow me to share with you the custodian's responsibility.  She is accountable for ensuring the facility is sanitary and well stocked.  She also cares for the REST OF THE BUILDING, not just this room.  She works PART TIME.  She does a great job, but she is not a nanny.  It's not her job to wipe your ass for you.  She counts on the adult, educated women who use this facility to have some respect for others who use it.

Let's review:

1. Wipe up your drips
2. Throw your trash away
3. And for God's sake -- flush the toilet.

Any questions?


  1. Man, I wish I could say, "Mary, what the hell?! You don't have to tell GROWN women that? How very condescending of you!!"

    Unfortunately, you are so dead-on about this nonsense. What the hell is wrong with some people?!!?

    1. I know -- can you imagine what their houses look like? ew.

  2. I am continually appalled at the way grown women leave public bathrooms. Seriously? They're awful. It's shocking how messy and disgusting some women are in public bathrooms.

  3. And if everybody would just sit down instead of spraying pee all over the bathroom the toilets would actually be safe for use.

  4. "Special time."
    Yep, sometimes the Mens Room smells like the monkey house at the zoo. But, I never have to worry about spotting "special time."
    And thank God for that.

  5. As buliding coordinator for the above mentioned building, all I can say is "AMEN SISTER!!!!!".

  6. I will do everything in my power to avoid a trip to the public restroom. I have a bladder of steel.

  7. I'm with Nicki. I try to avoid public bathrooms as much as possible. I read an article that said that women are actually messier in the bathroom which is ironic since they're the ones who usually have to do the cleaning at home and you would think they would sympathize.


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