Friday, January 28, 2011

Nice Names that I Can't Stand

If you are sensitive about names, don't read this.  Because I am probably going to insult you.  I am not trying to be insulting.  I am simply making an observation from my own perspective. 

Please don't e-mail me or facebook me.  Because I warned you ahead of time. 

I met a child named Brooklynne.

Not Brooklyn.  Not Brooke Lynn.  Brooklynn.

Pretty much hate that name.  She is a sweet girl though.

In all fairness, if you didn't name your child after a saint -- and I mean a common saint, not Saint Felix or anything -- then I probably don't like your kid's name.

I like your kid (probably).  Just not the name.

I think I am a name-Nazi because my mother has an unusual name.  Her name is Aurelia, but everyone calls her Pucky.  Like hockey-pucky.  Don't ask.  But it tells you why my brothers & sister & I all have very plain Catholic names. 

I just managed to blame my rudeness on my mom, didn't I?

Ooops.  Sorry Mom!

I like names with meaning.  If you named your kid Britnee because it was your great-aunt's name, I will think that's an awesome name.  If you named your kid Britnee because you just like the name, and because you want an "unusual" spelling, then I hate the name. 

Spelling is important. 

I once met a woman whose name is Adarin.  She was my customer.  I went to the lobby and called out "ADARIN!".  She said "It's pronounced ADRIAN".  Really? Because it's spelled ADARIN.  I had a customer named Jorge who insisted his name was George.  (OK that one I sorta get.  But don't get in my face just because I called you Hore-Hey.  That's how Jorge is pronounced.  Jeesh.)

I laugh when people say things like "We really wanted something unusual".

I always recommend Ralph or Karen.  You don't see many Ralphs or Karens born these days, do you?  Unusual!

Below please find a list of names that I am not liking right now (in no particular order).  Please note, at least half of these names can be found in my kiddo's classes.

Madison. . .Madysyn is even worse. 

I always ask the parent if they named their child after the President or the city.  They almost always say something like "There's a city called Madison?".  Ummm, yeah.  It's the CAPITAL of WISCONSIN. 

If the parent ever says "The city.  We met while at UW" (which I have yet to hear), then Madison is the BEST name EVAH!  Go Badgers!

Jett  (I love John Travolta.  But Jett?  no.)
Ham (Biblical name.  Good name.  If Ham is a rabbi, then I am fine with this name.)
Dalylah  (I really hate this one.  It's pronounced Delilah.  Delilah is a perfectly nice name.  Why do you have to wonk up the spelling????)
Camden  (Orioles Fan?)
Colby (you know that's a cheese, right?  It was invented in COLBY, WISCONSIN)
Jordan or Jordyn  (On this one I ask if the child is named after the river or the greatest athlete who has ever lived.  Again, if I like the answer, I like the name.)

Xoe (Zoe is fine.  Xoe is stupid)
Xander (stupider than Xoe even)
Brandon, Brenden or Brayden
Tawny (that's a stripper name)
Octavian (There is a sweet little blond kid in #3 Son's class named Octavian.  Love the kid, hate the name)



Feel free to add your own list of yucky names!



  1. my pet peeve is naming a kid something with three know there is going to be a nickname in their future, so why bother? if you like a name so much, have your own legally changed to it, don't saddle the poor kid with it! by the way, i was named after my dad's first wife and later found out that my mom's first husband's next wife was rae...gotta love the south!

  2. I hate Baxter, little kids cannot say that name it comes out as bastard. The worst names were featured on a news story on Fox News last year about state courts having to intervene when children were going to school with names like; lilbastid, imamistake, iona knipl, and the icing on the cake was in NJ when a couple named their children after Nazi's, Adolfhitler was the son's name and a store refused to decorate his cake and the case made the news and went to the New Jersey supreme court!

  3. O.M.G - I am ROFLMAO!!!!! You put Dalylah on your list!!!! That is just priceless!!!

    I HATE any name that is given a funky spelling. Is it:
    or what? Any way you spell it you say it the same. So stop trying to be so darn "creative". You child will one day want some of the personalized items sold in the stores and while the "normal" spelling of their name will be there, their f*cked up version won't.

    Also - please don't give your kid one of those gender neutral names.
    Is this child a boy or a girl? When I see a name of a piece of paper I want to immediately know. I don't want to guess. I'm sure most school teachers would feel the same.

    And while I have a nice generic Catholic name - Kathryn - NOBODY ever spells it right. So I guess even some of the "normal" names aren't so normal. ;)

  4. Fabulous, Mary! Cracks me up because just yesterday I was talking about how people are naming their kids these horrible names which will be unheard of in 15 years. I have an Evan and a Zachary. That's it. Standard spellings so they don't spend their lives correcting people. And even the trendiness of Evan wasn't there 9 years ago--the name has meaning to us.

    So anyhow, I am bestowing upon you, should you choose to play along, a blog award.


  5. Love it Mary!!!

    You know we picked out Kaelyn Ann (my mother and I both have Ann as middle names) & Kyle Keen (Bryan and his Dad both have this middle name which was a family maiden name) when I first got pregnant because we had a high probability of twins and so when we had our second and it was a boy we already had a name picked! When our little surprise came along 3 years later there was no way I was going with another K name as my dear hubby would have been horrified had someone said we had the KKK clan, so that is how Jacob Lawrence (middle name from my Dad and Brother) came to be. If he had been a girl I was going to name him Delta Marie after my dear Grandma that I have some kind of connection with even almost 13 years after her passing.

  6. We went with Meghan Elizabeth, mainly because it was the only girls' name that we agreed upon (and we had Elizabeth's on both sides) and Robert James after my dad.

    I'm right there with you on the F'd up spelling of names. Do you really hate your kid that much to saddle them with something that everyones going to misspell for rest of their lives.

    Now if you come up with a unique name that's easy to spell, you've earned my admiration.

    P.S. Tatiana was the name of one of my NCO's (a squad leader) that was later killed during Desert Storm.

    -Dave Liddy

  7. i have to add this thought that just occurred to me: i did this and i wonder how many other people did...i rejected a lot of names that were associated with kids i went to school with that were mean to me...if i heard the name, it brought up bad memories so i rejected it when i had heather, which, by the way, was the only name my ex and i agreed on...she is an only child as is her father so she got the middle name of claire, which i like, from her paternal family was saturated with namesakes so it was an honor to do it...

  8. I am helpless with giggles reading this post!

    I agree with each and every one of your anti-picks. Personally, I can't bear Braydon A) because it makes me think of donkeys, and B) because it is a faux family name, and I find that whole trend unbearable.

    Did you hear about Vince Vaughn, who named his defenseless baby daughter Locklynn? Have you ever?

    Hope you're having a lovely weekend... :)

  9. You guys are cracking me up!

    Rae -- Claire was always on the short list of girls names for us. Always. Love that name.

    kathryn - you KNOW it.

    Mommy A - will definately play!

    Dave L - I also love the name Meghan

    And Sherrie -- the KKK clan is the funniest thing EVAH!

  10. My son's name is David. He hates his name. Can't win.

  11. I really don't like the name Jessica. I don't know why. I think it's because it sounds like it has the word "sick" in it.

  12. I have a friend who named her daughter Tuva. Apparently, it is a common Swedish name.
    No one in their family is Swedish.

  13. See, my comment on your next post could hav egone here but I'm reading them in reverse order. I totally agree with you. I had a little students a few years ago named Presslie. Hm.

    I'm also not a fan of boys' names for girls (a friend from high school just named his daughter Logan. confusing) and last names for anyone. Two more friends just named their daughters Mackenna and Mackenzie. Not first names.

    Here are some awesome ones I've had in the past:
    D'Onna (pronounced Dee-Onna)
    Cleitis (I'm sorry, but what does that make you think of?! She prounounced it "Cluh-Tees")

    I could go on but I won't.

    I love my name now, but when I was a kid I hated that I never could find hair barrettes or name bracelets or even a darn TOOTHBRUSH with my name on. Forget a license plate for my bike! Nowadays it's easier to find a place that will personalize stuff.

    You always make me laugh!

  14. I like Liam (only one of your hate names I really like) but my hubby didn't. We ended up with a Jake just plain Jake (not Jacob, even JJ when he was little for Just Jake that I must have said 1000 X's) It was between Lars and Jake and 4 days after he was born he looked more like a Jake and it fits

  15. Only two times I really think unusal names are ok. first, if it is a family name (i.e. if you are calling your kid that because it was a grandparents'/aunt's/uncle's name or the first son in each geenration has always had the same name or something like that). Second, if it is a cultral name (you culture, not a name you randomly picked from another culture to be unusal). My name is a perfect example of this. It's pretty unusal, and I HATED it as a kid but then I found out that it is a name from my parents home country, pretty much not used anywhere else in the world, and now I'm ok with it.

    But as for the weird spellings, please. It makes it harder for anyone else to pronounce or spell the name correctly and what's the point?

  16. Weird Michigan names:
    Shithead (pronounced Shi-theed)
    Nevaeh ("heaven" backwards)

    -Lori (This is who posted. I like my name. Even though Brits think it is humorous because a lorry is the British name for a truck.)

    1. I call my boss "Shitheed" all the time. I'm always pretending to be joking. He still has NO idea. Sigh.

      P.S. You picked pretty names for your kiddos


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