Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I Don't WANNA!

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

Mark Twain

And so I grudgingly went to weight watchers today.  Or, as I like to call it, weight-fucking-watchers.
 
I don't want to.
 
I don't like it.
 
But I am.
 
Last year, when I participated in the fitness challenge, my goal was healthy blood.  Previously, I had high blood pressure and my bloodwork came back dangerously close to diabetic.  I have 3 young children.  Avoiding diabetes is a priority.
 
Today, my blood is great.  Exercise has made an awesome difference.
 
This year, my goal is really good joints. 
 
Kinda makes me sound like a stoner, don't it?  I've never been much of a pot smoker, but if it is good for my knees, maybe I should try it.
 
Or maybe, I will just go to weight-fucking-watchers to help me drop the weight that I haven't dropped with exercise. 
 
Have I mentioned that I HATE weight watchers? 
 
Maybe once.  Or twice.   
 
But weight watchers, with all it's stupid gimmicks, meetings, and products, happens to be very effective.  Which just pisses me off even more.
 
So I went to a meeting today.
 
They have a "new" system.  It's another stupid program where you calculate how  many points you have to eat in a day and then figure out how many points are in everything you eat, and then write everything down.
 
It's gimmicky.  It's stupid.  It's corny.
 
But having a target and writing things down is effective.  That part isn't stupid.
 
The leader - a little old lady who lost 15 pounds on weight watchers 40 years ago --  took me through a chart where she cheerfully said things like "We're going to teach you how to eat healthfully!"  and "You can eat anything you want, as long as you calculate the points!" I restrained myself from announcing that I already know how to eat healthfully, but knowing and doing are two different things.  Instead, I rolled my eyes like a thirteen-year-old through the whole thing.
 
Then she said "And with the new system, all fruits and vegetables are ZERO points!  Isn't that great?!"
 
To which I churlishly replied: "I always knew I didn't get to be a size 24 because I ate too many friggin' bananas".  (I said friggin' because even I object to swearing at old ladies.)
 
On the plus side, I will always have something to kvetch about in my blog.
 
Even tho I don't wanna.
 
 

4 comments:

  1. OMG, I was just thinking about doing WW this morning! Lord knows I need to do SOMETHING! I've never done it before, which is shocking since I've tried EVERY other diet known to man. However, I know many people who have had great success with it. Maybe we should struggle through this adventure together?

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  2. YES! Bitch with me! I signed up for a dollar -- so it's not super expensive. I just fucking hate it, that's all.

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  3. I am a WW member and it is helping - slowly - but assuredly. Went shopping last night for a new outfit. Bought a size smaller! WHoo-hoo!

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  4. From now on, I will ONLY refer to Weight Watchers as Weight Fucking Watchers, or WFW for short.

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