Monday, August 15, 2011

Fun and Pains

I never shoulda told Gabe I could do push ups from my toes.

When you can do push ups from your toes, you are eligible for lots of other fun exercises. 

Like "walk-outs".  Walk-outs start from a standing position.  Then you bend down, touch the floor, walk your hands out to a push-up position, do a goddam push up, then walk your hands back to your toes, then stand up.  I get to do 4 sets of 10.  Or 15, depending on what else Gabe has for me.

You also get to do planks.  A plank is a push up position held in place for a period of time.  Gabe says it's only 60 seconds but I think he meant 60 MINUTES.  Because that's how it feels.  Sometimes, just for fun, Gabe puts a 25lb weight on my back as I plank.  I am not lying. 

Today we did a fun one.

Around the World!

Doesn't that sound cute?  Doesn't it evoke images of happy children in national costume holding hands and dancing in a circle?  Doesn't it make you think of exotic places with women in colorful fabrics handing you glasses of the local refreshment?  It makes one think of fun drinking games and nights of hilarity.  Around the World.  How delightful.

I think a more appropriate name would be "Circle of Agony". 

To do an Around the World, you begin in a plank position.  Then you do a push up.  Then you walk your hands a few degrees to the left - or right, depending on which hemisphere Gabe is working on -- and do another push up.  The you move your hands a few more degrees, push up, walk hands, push up and so it goes until you have turned a full 360 degrees. 

You may have heard the expression "Horses sweat, Men perspire and Ladies glisten."  My glistening left a perfectly round mark in the carpet that won't dry for a few more days. 

I bet next week Gabe makes me do a variation he'll call "Mary-Go-Round".  An "Around the World" with Victor standing on my ass.

I just hope he takes his shoes off first.


  1. Very impressive ... and very scary. I'll just keep my fat, thank you very much. I wouldn't even do "Around the World" for money. But I think "Around the World" for money is considered prostitution and that's illegal and I'd have to go to confession ... way too much trouble

    Seriously, I'm impressed that you can do that kind of workout.

  2. Your workouts make me tired just READING them!

  3. Okay, so the image of the "Mary-Go-Round" had me bust-ass laughing just then. I think I may have woken at leat one of the kids. I was just thinking that I should be studying right now and not "visiting" my blog friends. That IS why I am awake while the rest of the world sleeps right now, after all. But damn...

    This was so much better than Corporate-friggin'-Finance. Seriously.

  4. Ah, reminds me of Basic Combat Training. Nine fun filled weeks of endless push-ups and other exercises that only Drill Sergeants dreamed up. Only we couldn't leave when our hour was up.


  5. Please note:
    Mr. Penwasser attempted a "walk-out."
    He's expected to make a full recovery.
    Sanjay Turnyerheddtothehleftencoff, MD
    Head Neurosurgeon
    Holy Moses Presbyterian Hospital and Drive-Thru Cleaners


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