Friday, March 25, 2011

Dear Annabel Manners. . . .

One of my favorite bloggers is Annabel Manners.  She's awesome.

I have an etiquette problem that may be a problem for some of you as well, so I am writing my Dear Annabel letter here.

Dear Annabel:

I love Facebook and tend to be somewhat of a . .. . you know.  Rhymes with "door". 

This week I noticed that I had over 450 Facebook friends. 

They are my friends.  Really.  Each of them.

The thing is, some of them are people who are never on facebook, so we rarely connect.  Some of them are people I see ALL THE TIME, so we over connect. 

So I un-facebooked a few.  I un-facebooked 142 to be exact.  I didn't say I un-FRIENDED them.  They are all still my friends -- I hope, anyway.  I meant them to still be friends.  Some people are better friends in person than on line.  In fact, I sent an e-mail to the 142 people explaining that I was limiting my Facebook connections, but I still value their friendship.

Of the 142 people, 140 didn't care.  Hell, they might not have even noticed.  But 2 got offended. 

Both of the 2 who were offended were people I see ALL THE TIME.  It's not like I severed contact.  I didn't disown them.  I didn't delete their e-mails.  I just didn't feel like Facebook added anything to our friendship.

Please, Miss Annabel, tell me what I should do to remedy the situation?  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 


Mary A

I'll let you know what Miss Annabel says!


  1. Sounds like 3rd grade.

    You really don't need to get upset about 2 people out of 142. You have other friends -- ignore those ones.

    They are losers!

    I'm not really anonomous -- it's MKmC! I'm going to check my Facebook now & see if you unfriended me. . . .

  2. I'm with MKmC. It sounds like 3rd grade. I've unfriended people with saying a word. Not one has come back and tried to re-friend me. Sometimes you just have to cull the herd.

    It wasn't that I hate them, but it was just that initial FB rush, where you friend everyone whose name you recognize. Most were people from High School. Yes, we were in the same building at the same time, but we didn't hang out then and were not going hang out now.

    In fact one of my status updates was something along the lines of "FB, please stop suggesting people that went to my HS, if I have to look them up in one of my old yearbooks, then chances are I'm not going to friend you."

    My Army buds on the other hand are different. For some reason we can just pick up from right where we left off.

  3. I love "Unfacebook." So much nicer than "unfriend." =)

  4. My reply is hot off the presses! Miss Mary, thanks for posing the question. You're definitely not the only one juggling too many social (media) obligations. Hope it helps!


  5. Maybe I'm too nice, but I'd probably add them back because it obviously means something to them and probably means very little to you. Are two extra friends out of 300 going to bog you down? If they are chronic FB updaters, you can always "hide" them and they will never know. Why allow anyone to have hurt feelings over something so trivial?

  6. Dang Mary! I just realized that I am one of the 142. Not disappointed. Just missed you! So, because I *excelled* in third grade, I re-friended you. Go ahead...ignore me. I can take rejection...I am a recruiter for pete's sake! ;)


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