Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mind Your Business

It's spring break!


I thought being with the littles 24/7 would be a nightmare, but we are having a really good time.

You know what I have noticed?  When you are with children, people feel it's OK to get in your business. 

I was in a ladies room with the 3 year old and the 6 year old.  We were taking care of business when the lady in the next stall felt she needed to shout directions.  At first I thought she must be on her phone, but then I realized she was talking to us.

I told 3 year old he'd have to sit down to pee and she yelled "It's OK honey, it's just this one time". 

I told 6 year old not to open the door until I was finished and she said "Mommy doesn't want people to see her undressed, sweetie".

Then my 3 year old made an observation about me. . .I won't go into specifics as it was very personal.  Let's just say it's a "Special Time" at my house (if you get the code, good.  If you don't, too friggin bad).  She shouted out "Don't worry honey, Mommy is going to be OK"

WTF lady?

Then as we were washing hands, she came up behind 3 year old to lift him to the sink.  Umm. .. I've got it, thanks.

Later, we were at a restaurant ordering lunch.  The waitress was one of those Flo types -- huge beehive hairdo, pen behind her ear, the whole deal.  I ordered grilled cheese and a side of steamed broccoli for the kids.  My kids LIKE steamed broccoli.  I swear. 

She said "Honey, they will never eat it.  Get the fries."

"No, we'll get the broccoli, thanks."

"But they won't eat it"

"They'll eat some of it"

Then she ROLLED HER EYES at me and submitted my order. 

She also gave my 9 year old a kid's drink, when I ordered a regular.  "I don't want him to spill it"  she said.

He won't spill it.  He's nine.  He's nine going on thirty if you want to know the truth.  I might spill, but he won't.   Who is paying for this anyway?

The kids ate some of their sandwich and some of their broccoli. 

"I told you they wouldn't eat it"  she said. 

That's not the way to get big tips lady.

Then today I got it again. 

I was at Home Depot & referred to my oldest son as Jojo.  He prefers going by Joseph, but he's my kid and we (sometimes) call him Jojo at home.  This old guy in the paint aisle said "Don't call him Jojo -- that's a sissy name".

Oh yeah?  I bet your grandson's name is Jordyn.  THAT'S a sissy name Grampa.

If you see me out & about with my kiddos, feel free to say hello.  But do me a favor & mind your business.


  1. You are so hilarious!

    But, seriously, WTF is with those people?! I would have given Flo that little reminder about tips to her face while she was trying to tell me what the hell to order MY OWN CHILDREN!! WTF?!?

    And, um...HELLO!!! You do NOT pick up someone else's child. EVER!! I don't care how helpful you're trying to be, DON'T TOUCH MY KID!!!

    As far as the old, crotchety guys, well...he's just an old crotchety guy. Can't change 'em, just have to ignore 'em!

  2. Mary, your raising your kids wrong, here let me help you out.....

    Seriously, when I now see parents struggling with their kids. I just give them the "Been There, Done That" smile, just to let them know that at least one person supports them. Sometimes, that all they need to redouble their efforts get the uncooperative little shi, errrr tykes to mind.

    The other ones that drove me crazy are "I'm a prefect parent even though I've never had kids", busybodies. I would smile at them too. Only it was the "Oh, I wish I could be there when karma smacks you right between the eyes, when you finally do have kids."


  3. Oh my gosh, how rude are people these days?! I hate nosy know-it-alls who feel like they're God's gift to earth and that their "advice" is going to make your life better...get over yourself already!

    If I ever run into you, I promise to just say hi and keep any comments to myself :)

  4. OMG - seriously?!? They guy at Home Depot actually told you not to call him Jojo?!? There is no way I could have been nice in that situation. Luckily I haven't run in to any people like that. Kudos to you for keeping your cool.

  5. OMG Mary, you always make me smile and reflect on our own experiences! Btw, was Greg at HEB last night - thought I saw him and almost asked how y'all were but he doesn't know me from one of your crazies this week!

    Never had that happen in the bathroom before and we've had some pretty strange converstations in there. The waitress we've had and I actually left her a hand written "tip" on the napkin =} The Home Depot guy, I would have told to shove it!

  6. I'm kind of horrified at the entire situation...I think we all need bubbles sometimes. We can just shut the world out. And open our bubbles to pay the cashier. Not all the time. Just for special all of these.

  7. I absolutely HATE people who interject themselves uninvited into a conversation you're having. The best way I've found to combat this though is to let them in, and then NOT let them out. Follow them to their car, ask very personal questions of them, such as "Have you ever considered doing something to make yourself look a little more presentable, because that face of yours is just hideous." Or my personal favorite, make up a sob story about yourself and ask, no, BEG them for some money. Touch them, in inappropriate places if you have the guts. But don't let them get away with such rude behaviour. Good luck.

  8. WOW. You were the epitome of restraint. I think I might have said something to at least one of those people that I'd regret later!


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