Thursday, June 28, 2012

Reposting. . . Because It Happened Again

Sometimes I get a little behind on chores.

Like laundry.

As long as I have reasonably clean uniforms for the kids, socks & unders for the hubs and a clean sports bra for me, I'm usually good.

Never occurred to me that I would run out of panties.

Wait -- I want all the boys to stop reading right now. The Bitchy Waiter is funny today. Go read him.

Yes, you too Ed. GO!


I have 10000 pairs of underwear. Some are fun & lacy. Some are thongs. Some coordinate with a specific bra. Most are comfy cotton briefs.

Last night after my shower, I opened the panty drawer and. . . . . .chirp chirp chirp.

Nothing. Not a thing. Not a thong. No boyshorts, hipsters, g-strings or briefs.

In normal circumstances, I would go without. But it's fright week. I need unders.

I had NOTHING. Just a giant pile of dirty laundry. I would never wear dirty underwear. Ok, I would. I totally would. But the laundry was especially dirty with wet towels and everything. So I couldn't even find any not-too-dirty ones.

I had to borrow from Greg. And Greg has 2 choices: tighty whiteys or chonies. Chonies weren't gonna do it for me because they wouldn't hold my . .. um . . products in place. I figured if Kate Moss could wear T.W.s, I could too. Because Kate & I are soooooo similar.

I knew boys were different from girls. I had no idea HOW different.

They have the whole keyhole thing goin' on. Because they are too lazy to pull their pants down when they pee. Know what else? The leg holes on T.W.s are tight. I mean -- no elastic. WTF? How can they wear these? And there is about 8 inches of fabric between the legholes. Their legs are NOT that far apart. I know they need extra fabric to cover their extra parts, but I had NO IDEA that there was so much fabric down there. Finally, the waistband? Definately not designed for girls. Well, maybe for Kate Moss. But for girls with hips? Nope.

So today, I am catching up on my laundry.

Cotton briefs first. 


  1. OH. MY. GOD. I am literally laughing my ass off. (Okay, not literally. If only I could get rid of my ass by laughing.)

    I would have just gone and bought even more underwear. After all, you have just proven that one can never have too many.

  2. Okay, first, LOL. Second, WTF are "chonies". Now I have to google. You know that leads to bad things with me...

  3. Quite funny! And yes, what are "chonies"?? I'm hoping this means boxers. Hope you got caught up. Laundry is a nightmare when it gets to that point.


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