Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I Hate The Brady Bunch

I really hate The Brady Bunch. 

Yes, I own all six seasons on DVD. 

I still hate them.

Reason number 1:  My middle name is Marcia.

You just thought "MARCIA! MARCIA! MARCIA!" didn't you?

Marcia is a nice name.  I was named after my aunt.  She was stylish, witty and fun.  She was chic, well read and worldly.

And then stoopid Marcia Brady comes along and takes my chic middle name and turns it into a joke.  "Something suddenly came up".  Right.

Reason number 2: My husband's name is Greg.

Do I really need to finish that joke?

Reason number 3: The Brady Bunch LIES!

Lie 1:  six kids share one bathroom.
Lie 2:  You know that grass is AstroTurf, right?  Greg isn't really mowing it.
It's Lie 3 that gets me.  Lie 3 is HUGE!  ( and no -- it's not that Mike & Carol were in a platonic marriage.  Who cares about that anyway?)

Lie 3: Architects cannot really afford a custom home AND a stay-at-home-wife AND a live in maid.

Architects can't afford a custom home OR a stay-at-home-wife OR a live in maid.

I know, because I married an architect.

Honestly, I don't really want a custom home.  My house is nice.  I am very happy with it. 

I have no desire to be a stay-at-home-wife.  Especially if the kids have to stay at home too.

But the live in maid?  That hurts. 

I would do anything to have an Alice.  I wouldn't even make her eat in the kitchen or off by herself when they camp or any of the mean things they do to Alice.  I wouldn't make Alice ask permission to go on dates with Sam.  And I would be very happy to have her cousin Emma come stay with us.  Hell, I'll take Emma and all her butch Army ways instead of Alice. 

I love my architect.  A lot. 

But I sure could use an Alice.


  1. What about the other lie from Brady Bunch, Family Ties and other sitcom families with an architect - They always make it home by 5 pm. - Right.

    BTW,I, too,married an architect and he makes a very good "Alice." (Don't tell him I said that.) Actually, he's a great Dad, husband and all around great guy.

  2. Amen to being a stay-at-home mom if the kids have to say there too. I LOVE them but I'm just sayin'!!!!! :)

  3. Yes, I agree! I wanna be a stay at home mom... after I send the kid to daycare!

    Love that you married and architect named Greg, Mary Marcia. That's classic.

    So... how do you feel about Gilligan's Island?

  4. @Connie -- mine is a good Alice too. But I want a full time Alice!

    @Kathy - totally

    @ ALexa O -- Now I am going to have to post about Ginger.

  5. Alice was always my favorite character...and I kind of want my life to be told in nine-paneled sequences with cheery theme music.

    I sympathize with the lies thing...I mean, I definitely own one of those replica Tiki statues from the Hawaii episode and every time something goes wrong I DO NOT hear the ominous NANNANAA music. That does not stop me from adding my own NANANNAA music, however.

  6. those who had the idea of putting of a totally crappola show like the brady bunch should have been neutered and tared and feathered in public years ago. the show really blew big old monkey chunks. i would rather go deaf than hear that old crappy song from the brady bunch. the show is one of the worst t.v. shows ever made. the fans of the brady show should get a lobotomy and not breed ever again. if i ever watch brady show, it would be pure and painful torture. so to the fans of the brady bunch, if you don't like my views all of can go to hell. no you're in hell by watching the brady bunch. so here's the real story, no body in their right mind would watch the brady bunch, the show is so fake. the simpsons is a lot better show than the brady bunch. if the bradys talk the way that they do now, people would make fun of their dumb sorry asses and i would be one of them. my final word to the brady bunch and their fans, see you in hell


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