Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I Hate The Brady Bunch
I really hate The Brady Bunch.
Yes, I own all six seasons on DVD.
I still hate them.
Reason number 1: My middle name is Marcia.
You just thought "MARCIA! MARCIA! MARCIA!" didn't you?
Marcia is a nice name. I was named after my aunt. She was stylish, witty and fun. She was chic, well read and worldly.
And then stoopid Marcia Brady comes along and takes my chic middle name and turns it into a joke. "Something suddenly came up". Right.
Reason number 2: My husband's name is Greg.
Do I really need to finish that joke?
Reason number 3: The Brady Bunch LIES!
Lie 1: six kids share one bathroom.
Lie 2: You know that grass is AstroTurf, right? Greg isn't really mowing it.
It's Lie 3 that gets me. Lie 3 is HUGE! ( and no -- it's not that Mike & Carol were in a platonic marriage. Who cares about that anyway?)
Lie 3: Architects cannot really afford a custom home AND a stay-at-home-wife AND a live in maid.
Architects can't afford a custom home OR a stay-at-home-wife OR a live in maid.
I know, because I married an architect.
Honestly, I don't really want a custom home. My house is nice. I am very happy with it.
I have no desire to be a stay-at-home-wife. Especially if the kids have to stay at home too.
But the live in maid? That hurts.
I would do anything to have an Alice. I wouldn't even make her eat in the kitchen or off by herself when they camp or any of the mean things they do to Alice. I wouldn't make Alice ask permission to go on dates with Sam. And I would be very happy to have her cousin Emma come stay with us. Hell, I'll take Emma and all her butch Army ways instead of Alice.
I love my architect. A lot.
But I sure could use an Alice.