Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Meanest Thing EVER!

I have been trying not to whine about my workouts too much, because A: every time I whine, Victor makes them harder; 2: people are sick of hearing it; C: my arms are starting to look like Michelle Obama's.  (When she wears a pink down parka.  But we're getting there.)

I haven't whined.  Much.

I've blogged about Halloween.  Voting.  Maxipads. 

I only called Vic a basterd that one time

But today?  I am going to whine like a rusty goddam hinge.

Forgive the typos because I can barely lift my arms to the keyboard.

Do you know what Victor Bin Laden had me do yesterday?

Actually, Gabe made me do it.  I am working out with Gabe.  I don't talk about Gabe too much.  He's just kinda quiet.  He's a pretty nice guy.  He's encouraging.  I like him.

At first, I was bummed that I don't have Ricky as my trainer, because everyone knows that I pink-puffy-heart-with-sprinkles-and-glitter Ricky.  I really do.  I think the world of him.   If I was 20 years younger. . . .

Maybe that's exactly why I don't have Ricky as my trainer. 

Also, Ricky trains my friend Mary, and for some reason, they always put us at opposite ends of the studio. 

Geez -- what is this?  Third grade?  We don't talk that much.

Anyway, Vic has me working with Gabe.  Steady, calm, reliable Gabe.  Sweet, kind Gabe.  Focused and intense Gabe. 

Horrible mean sadistic Gabe.

I've blogged about the pit.  The frickin' stairway to hell that we have to climb up and down over and over and over again.  I have learned to live with the pit.   (And after Vic reads this, I know I will spend much more time there.).  The pit is HARD!  I have been working out since July and it's still really really hard.


It was tortuous.

Gabe handed me 2 -- yes TWO -- 15 lb weights and made me walk up & down the pit 15 times.  Let's do the math, shall we?  15 x 2 = 30.  THIRTY POUNDS I carried up the stairs.  Not once.  Not twice.  FIFTEEN TIMES. I could have carried my 2 year old up and down those stairs.  He would have wiggled more, but at least I would have gotten a sticky kiss out of it.

I'm not stupid.  I know Vic is the evil creative genius behind it.  He thought it up.  But did Gabe protest?  Did Gabe say "Vic, I think that making a nice lady like Mary carry 30 pounds of dumbbells up and down the stairs is sorta sadistic.  Why don't we do push ups instead?"

No.  He didn't.


See you Tomorrow at 3, Gabe.   


  1. OMG! At this point in my life I can hardly lift a fifteen pound bag of groceries from the garage into the kitchen LOL

  2. MARY - You always make me laugh. For some reason you were not laughing during this whole event. I thought maybe you were mad at me, but now I figured it out, you were afraid to use the F word. I will agree, Victor is a bit evil. My waist appreciates his evilness though. See you next week in the pit.
    Your friend, Mary

  3. Welcome to the other side!!! :)

  4. Hahahaha! Um...does Gabe read this?

  5. @mary -- I couldn't use it when Rachel was there.
    @Nicki -- I'm sure he will -- and I'm sure I will pay!

  6. The Pit sounds hard! When I was a personal trainer waaaaay back in the 80's, my clients would decide that they needed to go to the "bathroom" in order to get out of the latest exercise. Where they went I have no idea, probably out to their driveway to let the air out of my tires.


I LOVE to read comments. Seriously. I check them every day. Insecure? Maybe.