Monday, September 20, 2010

Girls & Girlfriends

No this is not about lesbians. 

Sorry, guys.  (I mean the men guys)

One of the best gifts of fat is that being fat has allowed me to have so many girlfriends.  Weight issues are one of the many things that bond women to each other.  And since I didn't spend my high school years being sired around town by cute guys, I spent lots of Saturday nights with my girlfriends.  Who I totally dumped whenever I DID get a date.  (Karen, Fran, Kristen, Nanci, Leslie, Liz: I'm so sorry!)

There is a type of girl that I pretty much can't stand tho. 

No, it is not the "Skinny Girl". 

In fact, I think it is mean spirited to say "She's so gorgeous, I hate her".  We all say it.  And we think we are being flattering.  But really, we're being mean.  So let's stop it, 'kay?

The girl I can't stand is the girl-hater.

The girl who doesn't have any close girlfriends, just close guy friends.

The girl who would watch football even if she were by herself AND there was a Sex in the City marathon on TV.

The girl whose best Friend is a guy who is madly in love with her but she just doesn't like him like that.

I hate that girl.  Wait.  I don't hate her.  She just bugs me.

Not because I care if her friends are guys.  I don't care if she likes football.  That's not why she bugs me.

She bugs me because she uses men to annoy other girls.

She bugs me because she says things like:  "I prefer guy friends because girls are just so catty"

Really?  Because that was pretty much the cattiest thing I have ever heard anyone say.  Ever.

The funniest thing about girl-haters is that guys can't understand why the rest of us are so annoyed by her.

My husband went to graduate school with one of the worst offenders I have ever met. 

She never said two words to him in school.  When the class got together socially (i.e with significant others),  suddenly she found him fascinating.  She laughed at all his jokes.  Even the really dumb ones.  He wore a crew cut back then & she made a point to run her hands through his hair.  She sat next to him whenever she could.

Don't misunderstand me.  I was not jealous. 

I was not jealous for two reasons.

1.  Greg had no idea she was flirting with him.  If she had given him a lap dance he still wouldn't get it.  Bless him, he just has no idea when someone flirts with him.  Even me.  If I can't be subtly romantic with him.  I have to say "kiss me now" if I want a kiss. 

2.  I knew she didn't like him.

Frankly, I was a little annoyed that she didn't like him because he really was one of the hottest guys in their class.  She really should have liked him.

I thought maybe I was feeling a little jealous, until I happened to chat with a few of the other wives.  She did the exact same thing to their men.  None of us can stand her. 

Fortunately, most girls are girlfriends.  Not girl-haters.

But they are out there.  And we girlfriends are on to them.


  1. I have a lot more male friends than I do female friends, but I don't have a reason.. lol.. other than it just works out because I get along better with males. I would never use a guy to bug the crappolla out of other girls, mainly because I don't see the point in it. I just like having male friends because then I have someone to watch Football and Basketball with. Lol. Does that make me lame?

  2. I have to admit Mary, I love having my guy friends! I love football, sports, scary movies, gory movies... I love 'hangin with the boys' every once in a while, because quite frankly...I am not the 'foo-foo' kind of gal. I do not like skirts, or dresses (yes I wear them, but I do not like them). I would pick a pair of jeans and a t-shirt anyday! I DO NOT flirt with other women's men though! That is just wrong!! Sometimes I feel like women just do not understand me. Why I love the football and sports and all that stuff! I was raised with 'jock' brothers. I was taught to support them, to cheer for them. Now that I think about it, I like to hang out with the guys because it is just FUN! Yeah, they get annoying at times (can I get an AMEN to that!!) but fun a lot of the time. Am I a traitor?! HAHA!!

  3. @H. Claire & Angel -- I have guy friends too! But they never trump the girlfriends. (except the husband. Husband trumps everyone else)

  4. I might be a borderline girl-hater. Eeek. I had a few girls really hate on me as a child which left me with a total lack of trust in girls. Sad really but the guys weren't mean. Thankfully as an adult have a few good girl friends but they don't come easy since I totally have girl trust issues. Good post.

  5. Love this post. Like you, I can't stand women who disparage other women, especially around men. I think it's a sign of insecurity, and it doesn't do the rest of us any favors as a larger group.

    Whether in the social world, our communities, or the workplace, trustworthy girls with big hearts can always spot each other. And thank goodness for that!


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