No this is not about lesbians.
Sorry, guys. (I mean the men guys)
One of the best gifts of fat is that being fat has allowed me to have so many girlfriends. Weight issues are one of the many things that bond women to each other. And since I didn't spend my high school years being sired around town by cute guys, I spent lots of Saturday nights with my girlfriends. Who I totally dumped whenever I DID get a date. (Karen, Fran, Kristen, Nanci, Leslie, Liz: I'm so sorry!)
There is a type of girl that I pretty much can't stand tho.
No, it is not the "Skinny Girl".
In fact, I think it is mean spirited to say "She's so gorgeous, I hate her". We all say it. And we think we are being flattering. But really, we're being mean. So let's stop it, 'kay?
The girl I can't stand is the girl-hater.
The girl who doesn't have any close girlfriends, just close guy friends.
The girl who would watch football even if she were by herself AND there was a Sex in the City marathon on TV.
The girl whose best Friend is a guy who is madly in love with her but she just doesn't like him like that.
I hate that girl. Wait. I don't hate her. She just bugs me.
Not because I care if her friends are guys. I don't care if she likes football. That's not why she bugs me.
She bugs me because she uses men to annoy other girls.
She bugs me because she says things like: "I prefer guy friends because girls are just so catty"
Really? Because that was pretty much the cattiest thing I have ever heard anyone say. Ever.
The funniest thing about girl-haters is that guys can't understand why the rest of us are so annoyed by her.
My husband went to graduate school with one of the worst offenders I have ever met.
She never said two words to him in school. When the class got together socially (i.e with significant others), suddenly she found him fascinating. She laughed at all his jokes. Even the really dumb ones. He wore a crew cut back then & she made a point to run her hands through his hair. She sat next to him whenever she could.
Don't misunderstand me. I was not jealous.
I was not jealous for two reasons.
1. Greg had no idea she was flirting with him. If she had given him a lap dance he still wouldn't get it. Bless him, he just has no idea when someone flirts with him. Even me. If I can't be subtly romantic with him. I have to say "kiss me now" if I want a kiss.
2. I knew she didn't like him.
Frankly, I was a little annoyed that she didn't like him because he really was one of the hottest guys in their class. She really should have liked him.
I thought maybe I was feeling a little jealous, until I happened to chat with a few of the other wives. She did the exact same thing to their men. None of us can stand her.
Fortunately, most girls are girlfriends. Not girl-haters.
But they are out there. And we girlfriends are on to them.