Tuesday, September 14, 2010

If You Were Me

And someone gave you a generous gift certificate to a salon, what would you have done?

Toes -- obviously.  My feet are so in need of a pedicure that I am snagging my sheets.

But what else?

Can't be hair, because I only trust Kasey with the Red. 

Massage? 

I've never had that done.

Brazilian?

Never had that done either.

I hear good things about both.  I hear all the time about how WONDERFUL they are and how you FEEL SO GREAT afterwards and all I can think is: 

Someone besides my husband or OB/GYN will be touching my fat and/or touching me in my girl parts. 

Ummmm. . .No.

Yes I am an enlightened, fun, confident fat girl. 

Yes I have lots (and lots) of wild before-I-met-my-husband stories.

No I don't want anyone touching me.

I have a space bubble.

Unless I married you or gave birth to you, you are not allowed in the bubble.  (And if anyone knows a way to keep the people I gave birth to out of the bubble, I'd love to hear it.)

Anyone?  Anyone?

9 comments:

  1. How about a facial? Strictly above the neck but oh-so-luxurious...

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  2. I am terrified of Brazilians. I know I should just get over it and live a little. Maybe when I win the lottery. What about other waxing? Like eyebrows? I mean, that's not SO personal. Just a little painful. A lot painful. Semantics.

    You could do pedi AND mani. Or could you save it up for multiple pedis. Jeeeeez, I am practical.

    Annabel Manners is on to something here. Facial might be the perfect solution!

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  3. A facial is GREAT Mary! Highly recommended and very relaxing! Pedis and manis are always great too!!

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  4. I'm all about the pedicures. Love them!!! Does your certificate have to be used all at one time??

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  5. Forget the facial, I'm with you - keep the strangers as far away as possible. This most certainly means a pedicure....toes being the farthest away.

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  6. Forget the facial, I'm with you - keep the strangers as far away as possible. This most certainly means a pedicure....toes being the farthest away.

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  7. I know I know, you heard me the first time. Sorry but you comments were going wonky.

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  8. I denied the importance of a pedicure for way too long, but I recently decided to start occasionally budgeting for one because my daughter gifted me one before we left for our trip to Mexico and I now realize how short-sighted it was NOT TO.

    Facials are also awesome, esp once you hit your 40's. I would also add in other treatments such as salon microdermabrasion, etc.

    I've never done the "wax" in "that" area, and it does make me nervous. My current rule is if I reach the point where I find that area "decent" I will consider going there....unti then....NO GO.

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  9. Thanks for the input all!

    Facial sounds good -- I might try it! Haven't set my appointment yet.

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I LOVE to read comments. Seriously. I check them every day. Insecure? Maybe.